The Brak Show
by coolman3
Summary: I reckon that if the Brak Show wasn't cancelled, these would be what the episodes would be like. Fairy werewolfs, zombies and a naughty Brak, oh my! R & R
1. Fairy Werewolf

The Brak Show

Fairy Werewolf

Opening credits.

Cut to Brak's room. Brak and Zorak are both standing up, talking.

Brak: ...and then I saw the most horrifying thing ever...a fairy werewolf!

Zorak: A fairy werewolf? What the Hell is that?

Brak: Well Zorak, it's basically a werewolf dressed as a fairy.

Zorak: Heh, heh, heh. That's so gay.

Brak: It's not, go ask Sisto!

Zorak: Sisto has been dead for over two weeks now.

Brak: OH NO! Poor Sisto!

Zorak: I yanked your chain!

Brak: Why did you do that?

Zorak: Because I'm evil, baby.

Brak: Well, that's not nice.

Zorak: Of course not, it's me...Zorak.

Brak: Where is your nephew...Raymond?

Zorak: I ate him.

Brak: Gross.

Zorak: Of course, then I vomited him out, and now we share a house next door to you.

Brak: Oh yeah...didn't we see him last Christmas?

Zorak: Hey, what about the fairy werewolf?

Brak: Well, it attacked me with a wand!

Zorak: A wand?

Brak: Hey, it stabbed it through my back.

Zorak: Oh really?

Brak: Yep, let me show you.

Brak turns around and Zorak sees his wand through his back.

Zorak: Oh, that's got to hurt. But I don't care.

Brak: It does.

Zorak: Well, who cares?

Brak: Say Zorak, I'm tired, I'm going to bed.

Zorak: You only woke up 5 minutes ago, jerk!

Brak: Oh yeah, let's get some breakfast.

Cut to the kitchen. Brak's Dad is reading the newspaper.

Brak's Dad: According to this, a un-trustworthy sociopath saw a werewolf dressed in a pink tutu like a fairy, stabbing him in the back with it's sharp wand. Which person will believe something like this, mother?

Brak's Mom: I don't know, father...maybe, oh I don't know.

Brak's Dad: So, you don't believe me?

Brak's Mom: I never said that.

Brak's Dad: I saw it in your eyes, mother.

Brak & Zorak walk downstairs.

Brak: Hey mommy.

Brak's Dad: Hi Zorak.

Zorak: Hey.

Zorak blinks.

Brak's Mom: Oh my God Brak, what's stuck on your back?

Brak: Oh, that's just a wand which a fairy werewolf stabbed through me, but Zorak says there is no such thing.

Brak's Dad: Well there isn't.

Brak's Mom: Well, will you and Zorak want breakfast?

Brak: Sock it to me, mommy.

Brak's Mom: I'll get started.

Brak's Dad: Make me some toast, mother.

Brak's Mom: You already had breakfast, dear.

Brak's Dad: Really?

Brak's Dad strokes his chin.

Brak's Dad: Oh well.

Brak's Dad resumes reading the newspaper.

Brak: Say Mom, where's Sisto?

Brak's Mom: His been sleeping over at a friend's place.

Brak: It was so nice of those creatures not to eat him.

Zorak: Yes yapping, more making.

Brak's Dad: I...don't get it.

Zorak: Of course you wouldn't, pops.

Brak's Dad: Oh, it says here that a baby mantis has been kidnapped, 2 minutes old, and is named Zorak Jnr.

Zorak: Yeah, I had sex in Brak's bed.

Brak: No wonder my bed was so sticky and gooey last night.

Brak's Mom: Uh!

Zorak: Mantises give birth by vomiting.

Brak's Mom: How can you sit there, why your baby has been kidnapped?

Zorak: I just can.

Zorak blinks.

Brak's Mom: After you get home from school, I'll help you found your baby.

Brak's Mom gives Brak some breakfast, as he begins gobbling it up.

Zorak: Where's mine?

Brak's Mom throws it at Zorak's face.

Brak: Uh, thanks Mom. That was delicious.

Brak burps.

Brak: Excuse me.

Brak's Mom: Why thank you Brak.

Brak's Dad: You have to go to school now.

Zorak: Right after I'm finished.

Brak's Mom: Your going.

Pause.

Zorak: Chicka chicka, wow!

Cut to Brak and Zorak walking past Thundercleese's house.

Brak: Well good morning, neighbour.

Thundercleese: Good morning Brak, hello enemy.

Zorak: Hey.

Thundercleese: What is that thing in your back?

Brak: A wand.

Thundercleese: You weren't happened to be mauled by a fairy werewolf, were you?

Brak: Yes.

Thundercleese: Come in my house, Brak.

Zorak: I better come, if Thundercleese does something, it's going to be suddenly my fault.

Thundercleese: NO!

Thundercleese blasts Zorak.

Thundercleese: Come Brak, from across the street.

Brak walks to the door, a trap-door drops Brak down.

Door: State your name.

Thundercleese: Thundercleese.

Door: Welcome home Thundercleese.

The door opens as Thundercleese walks in. Cut inside, Brak drops in, as Thundercleese walks in.

Brak: What was that for?

Thundercleese: Brak, what I'm preparing to show you will shock you.

Brak: Really, like that copper-wire I touched last Spring?

Thundercleese: NOOOO!

Brak: Oh, okay.

Thundercleese: I haven't told anyone this, but I got security cameras installed in my prized yard bunnies.

Brak: What? What's this bullcrap?

Thundercleese: I've got a tape, of a real live fairy werewolf stabbing the mailman this morning.

Brak: Really?

Thundercleese: Yes.

Pause.

Brak: Can I see the tape?

Thundercleese: Wait.

Pause.

Thundercleese: Here's the tape.

A tape comes out of Thundercleese, as he pushes through the flat TV screen from "Feud" as the letters: "Taped on October 21st 2003, 6:54:35" pop up. Cut to the mailman working to Thundercleese's mailbox.

Mailman:(singing): Walking along the street, handing out mail.

A werewolf in a fairy costume enters.

Fairy Werewolf: AAAAAAAGH!

Mailman: Huh?

The mailman turns around and sees the Fairy Werewolf and laughs.

Mailman: It's a werewolf in a tutu.

The Fairy Werewolf stabs the Mailman through the back with a wand and starts mauling him.

Thundercleese: You see Brak?

Brak: Please, I don't want to see anymore!

Thundercleese: Okay.

Thundercleese turns it off.

Thundercleese: I'm the so called "sociopath" that printed the message about the Fairy Werewolf, you're not alone Brak, you're not alone.

Brak:(singing): I'm not alone, I'm...not alone, when you wish upon a star, a star goes straight through your back, no one believes you except...you, I'm not alone...I went home from school then it happened, but I told everyone on the bus...but...I'm not alone, I'm not alone, because I have a tape...

Thundercleese: My tape, leave now.

Brak:(singing): ...Poor little me.

Brak pops back up, through the tubes, through the trap door, and lands in the school dumpster.

Brak: Just 2 more minutes, then its school time. Time to get out of here.

Brak shuffles in the bin.

Brak: Ugh, crap.

Cut to commercial.

Cut to Brak's class room.

Teacher: And then you get 2 plus 2, equals 4.

The school bell rings.

Teacher: Okay, that's the end of our lesson; remember your work for tomorrow, to find out what 100 plus 100 is, because the other teacher is gone.

Everyone leaves. Brak walks up to him.

Brak: Mr. Smartypants?

Mr. Smartypants: Yes Brak?

Brak: I have a problem.

Mr. Smartypants: Yeah, you stink.

Brak: I know, but it's not that! I have a problem.

Mr. Smartypants: A problem with your work?

Brak: No, I got attacked by a Fairy Werewolf yesterday, and my back hurts.

Mr. Smartypants: Brak, the Fairy Werewolf is as fake as Bigfoot or the Boogeyman, if you chatted with Mr. Thundercleese, he would've said he knows it exits but it doesn't!

Brak: Yes it does!

Mr. Smartypants: Okay! Prove it, if you convince everyone at this school, I'll then believe you, or capture the Fairy Werewolf.

Brak: I'll try to convince everyone as I can!

Brak runs off.

Mr. Smartypants: Fairy Werewolf? Where does he get this stuff?

Cut to Paranormal Class.

Teacher: And, then a Fairy Werewolf came and mauled me, and that's how I was absent for the past two years, yes Janet.

Janet: But all the other teachers say that he is fake, Mr. Toteman.

Mr. Toteman: Or is he? No one has seen him, except me.

Brak: And me!

Everyone laughs.

Mr. Toteman: Everyone, don't laugh at him. Now, I've got proof.

Mr. Toteman walks over to Brak.

Mr. Toteman: Scars, blood tissue on his left hand showed and a wand through the back and several bumps and bruises.

Brak: So?

Mr. Toteman: Yep, it's the work of a Fairy Werewolf.

Brak: OH NO!

Mr. Toteman: Stay behind after school, as I'll spray garlic and hot rice over you, before the next full moon.

Everyone laughs.

Janet: Hey look, its Brak the dork!

Brak: Well, just because you're a cheerleader doesn't make you popular!

Pause.

Janet: Yes it does.

Brak: Oh.

Mr. Toteman: Okay calm down kids, let's get on track for the next week's diabolical activity in a cauldron.

Janet: Better put Brak in the cauldron!

Everyone laughs.

Brak: SHUT UP JANET!

Janet: Oh, look the baby is going to cry.

Brak: SHUT UP!

Brak punches Janet.

Brak: Whoops, I'm sorry.

Pause.

Mr. Toteman: Brak? How could you do something like this?

Brak: I'm sorry Mr. Toteman.

Mr. Toteman walks over to him.

Mr. Toteman:(whispering): Don't be sorry, she's a bitch anyway.

The bell rings.

Mr. Toteman: Okay everybody, time to go! Remember, the Learnmore High School is holding it's abnormal creature contest this Sunday, people can still write there entries in.

Everyone leaves.

Mr. Toteman: Brak! Stay here.

Brak: Yes Mr. Toteman?

Mr. Toteman: Time for the garlic and hot rice...

Cut to Brak in a cauldron.

Mr. Toteman: Here's some hot rice.

Brak: Ugh.

Mr. Toteman: After this Brak, convince everyone there is such thing as the Fairy Werewolf.

Brak: Okay.

Cut to the basketball court. Brak walks in with a moustache and a derby hat.

Brak: Hello, there are skin flakes from the Fairy Werewolf to prove its existence.

Janet: Brak? What are you doing?

Brak: Brak? I've never heard of this BRAK, I'm John Species the 11th.

Janet: Like, get away from us, you loser.

Brak: My name is not loser, its John Species the 11th.

Janet: Brak, don't act like the dork you are.

Brak: SHUT UP!

Brak's moustache and hat fall off.

Janet: Oh hi Brak, there was a weirdo here before...

Everyone laughs.

Brak: SHUT! UP! JANET!

Janet: Ooh, I'm deaf.

Brak punches her.

Janet: Now my ear is bleeding...

Brak: There is a fairy werewolf, and if no-one believes me...there's only one thing to do!

Janet: Punch me again?

Brak: Convince other people.

Cut to Brak walking up to kids in sunglasses.

Brak: Hello gentlemen, I have the Fairy Werewolf's laminated left arm to prove that he exits.

Sunglass Kid: We know, he exists everywhere.

Brak: Did he attack you too?

Sunglass Kid: No, but I have a photo of him.

Pause.

Brak: Can I see the picture?

Sunglass Kid: No you can not.

Cut to the basketball court.

Brak: Hey Janet, these kids believe me.

Clarence: I believe you too, Brak.

Janet: These are just weirdos and freaks like you.

Brak punches her.

Janet: Stop punching me! I've never done anything to hurt you...psychically.

Brak: I cannot convince you, or your group of kids, I can't do anything!

Janet: Try finding that freak, then show us, and then we will believe you.

A light bulb pops up on Brak's head.

Brak: I got an idea! Let's go to Fish Pockets!

Pause.

Janet: What's Fish Pockets?

Brak: Don't you know what Fish Pockets are?

Janet: Nope.

Brak: Okay, I'm out of ideas.

Cut to Brak's house.

Transition Announcer: After school, the following words were said.

Cut to the lounge. Brak's Dad and Brak are watching TV.

News Alien: Earlier on today, a freak claiming he saw a Fairy Werewolf was quickly labelled: "Liar". This is the second time; some one has "claimed" to see the obviously fake Fairy Werewolf.

Brak: Third! Me, and it's true.

News Alien: It's the second, and it's not true, you freak...so shut up!

Brak: Make me.

News Alien: Be quiet, and listen to me...

Brak's Dad: Hg' contrasfas, not again. Brak...(lesson music comes on)...sometimes, he see things that are not real, the mind will play tricks on you, you don't know that, that maybe the wand belonged to Thundercleese, and it was in his cannon, you never know...so, there is no such thing, as a Fairy Werewolf, do you understand, son?

Lesson music stops.

Brak: No, why would Thundercleese need a wand?

Brak's Dad: DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

Pause.

Brak: No.

Brak's Dad: Ugh, Brak...

News Alien: Believe your father, now shut up and listen to me!

Brak: I'm going to show, I'm going to show...I'm going to show, everyone...my amazing Beans song!

Brak's Dad: No.

Brak: Why?

Brak's Dad: Just no.

Brak: Why?

Brak's Dad: I SAID, NO!

Brak's Mom walks in the lounge with groceries.

Brak's Mom: Hello Brak how was school today?

Brak: Bad.

Brak's Mom: Why bad?

Brak: Nobody believes me there is such thing as a Fairy Werewolf.

Brak's Mom: Nobody is going to believe you, until you go find him, and when you do, everybody will then believe you.

Brak: Orrrrr...I've got a better idea...

Brak's Dad: You do?

Brak: I'm going to do my homework!

Pause.

Brak's Dad: Mother, what's this so-called homework, is it the new word for "chores".

Brak's Mom: Maybe.

Brak: Eh, I'm going up my room.

Cut to Brak's room. Brak walks in, and sees Zorak with a baby mantis.

Brak: Hey Zorak, is that your baby?

Zorak: Yes, I finally got it to sleep, so shut up.

Zorak lays the baby mantis down in Brak's bed.

Brak: Zorak, that's my bed!

Zorak: So, I was sick of holding it.

Brak: I reckon it was rather cute.

Zorak: You say so.

Brak: So?

Pause.

Zorak: Listen, just get out of here.

Brak: I need to convince people that the Fairy Werewolf exists!

Zorak: You do?

Brak: Maybe, if I start a campaign?

Zorak: Maybe, only if I'm a campaign manager. Meet me tomorrow at the Learnmore High School; we'll set up a stand in the toilets.

Brak: Okay.

Transition Announcer: Tomorrow, at the Learnmore High School, the following acts of violence were committed.

Cut to the stand in the toilets reading: "Believe it or Shove It".

Zorak: Hey you, believe the Fairy Werewolf!

Brak: Oh Zorak, its Janet.

Janet walks over.

Janet: Believe it or Shove It? Well, okay...Zorak.

Pause.

Zorak: What are you doing?

Pause.

Janet: Looking at your eyes...

Zorak blinks.

Janet: I love that sound!

Zorak: Come with me in the stands...BECAUSE YOUR FREAKIN' THE Z MAN OUT!

Janet: Okay.

Janet walks in the stand with Zorak, as the banner goes down, the one saying "Shoving It".

Janet: OW!

Zorak: Your scrawny! Your scrawny!

Janet: OW...ooh, Zorak.

Janet walks out.

Brak: What was that?

Zorak: Sex.

Pause.

Brak: All you going to have sex with all the recipients?

Zorak: No. Only the hot ones...chicka, chicka wow!

Clarence walks over.

Clarence: Trying to be one of the cool kids, I believe I must not believe you.

Zorak: Come into my office.

Clarence walks over and the banner "Shoving It" unveils again.

Clarence: OWWWWWWW!

Zorak: You like that? You like that?

Clarence: NOOOOOO! MOMMMY!

Clarence runs out.

Brak: Did you have sex with him?

Zorak: No, I beat him up.

Brak: That's mean.

Zorak: I'm putting the "pain" in campaign!

Brak: Zorak, you're fired!

Zorak: See you later; I'm going to play hooky.

Zorak walks off.

Brak: LEARNMORE HIGH SCHOOL! I'M GOING TO CAPTURE THE FAIRY WEREWOLF!

Everyone gasps. Dramatic music starts, as pictures of Mr. Toteman, Janet, a beaten up Clarence and Thundercleese are shown.

Cut to commercial.

Cut to the Principal's office.

Brak's Mom: What did Brak say?

Brak's Dad: I don't believe my ears!

Principal: Yes, your son wants to capture the...Fairy Werewolf.

Brak's Mom: Oh my God.

Brak: That's what my Mom and Dad suggested!

Principal: Well, here's what I'm going to say...good luck to you Brak.

Brak: Huh?

Principal: I got mauled by a Fairy Werewolf yesterday; I even submitted it into the local news show.

Cut to Brak's room. Brak is putting everything in his bag. He then tries to pull off his bed and put in it in the bag. Brak's Mom enters.

Brak's Mom: Brak just put the sleeping-bag in.

Brak: Okay.

Brak puts his sleeping-bag inside.

Brak: I put my whole life in one bag, delicious.

Brak's Mom: Goodbye Brak!

Brak's Mom hugs Brak. Brak walks off. To the kitchen, Brak walks in.

Brak's Dad: Goodbye son.

Brak's Dad shakes hands with Brak, he walks off. Cut to a trashed house with Zorak standing on the path.

Brak: Bye Zorak.

Zorak: Whatever.

Brak walks off to Thundercleese's house.

Thundercleese: Goodbye Brak, from across the street.

Brak: See you, robotic buddy.

Brak walks off to a house with a bunch of teenagers and Sisto.

Brak: See you Sisto.

Sisto: Bye.

Brak: Buddy.

Sisto: Here's for good luck.

Sisto farts on Brak.

Brak: Ugh, I loved smelling your farts.

Brak walks off. Cut to the woods.

Brak: Okay, time to camp out to see the Fairy Werewolf.

Brak lays out his sleeping bag. Cut to Brak in a campfire, smoking smores.

Brak: Ugh, the good ol' camping place.

Brak puts on a hat.

Brak: G'day mate, I'm Brak!

Brak runs up to a tree.

Brak:(singing): In the woods, lives the little Brak that could, it's about time to realise, that maybe to say I'm not really gay, living in the woods, like Steve Irwin here, he lives in the outback, yeah...but they are basically the same, so I say...G'day mate!

Stupid fact: "I, Coolman3, am Australian, and I hate Steve Irwin, so don't make that give you any ideas". Cut to Brak eating his smores.

Brak: Nice dinner, but not what like Mom makes.

Brak climbs to the tree, and looks out the neighbourhood with binoculars.

Brak: Ugh, good ol' Spaceland St.

Cut to a shot of Brak's house, with the light on, we see Brak's Dad walking up to hug Sisto.

Brak: That looks nice.

Cut to the house. Brak's Dad is trying to lift Sisto.

Sisto: See Dad, I told you, you can't lift me up.

Brak's Dad: I used to.

Cut to the tree.

Brak:(singing): When you wish upon a star, and put it in your pocket, you can do anything you want, you'll burn your pants like Hell, but your wish will come true. I'm not alone, I'm not alone, with my star in my pants, and I'll die.

Cut to Brak sleeping in his sleeping bag.

Brak: This is great, my first night in the woods. Ugh, Ghost Planet, I love this planet more then anything, I love Spaceland St. as well, so beautiful, so fragile.

Brak falls asleep. Cut to the morning, Brak is eating breakfast.

Brak: This is nice food, you bake breakfast with a campfire, and it tastes delicious.

Brak swallows it, as a Fairy Werewolf walks up the hills, cautiously.

Brak: What was that?

Fairy Werewolf: Nothing, go back to eating.

Brak: Oh-kay, figment of my imagination.

Fairy Werewolf: Yeah, yeah...figment.

Fairy Werewolf drops the wand and runs off.

Brak: What was that?

Brak finishes his breakfast and walks up to the pathway up to the hills and sees footprints and a wand.

Brak: The Fairy Werewolf must be close!

Brak runs off, then quickly stops.

Brak: Too much excess fat.

Brak starts panting.

Brak: Go on without me.

Voice: Use the force...

Brak: The force?

Voice: The force of the forks.

Brak: The force of the force?

Voice: The forks use the forks!

Brak: Forks?

A thought bubble with Brak's Mom on it appears.

Brak's Mom: These forks are for if your home sick and want to vomit out all the fat.

Brak: For-ks?

Cut to Brak using forks as crutches.

Brak: C'mon, c'mon.

Cut to the Fairy Werewolf sleeping.

Brak: Time to show off Mr. Fairy Werewolf.

Brak grabs the Fairy Werewolf and uses it as a sled.

Brak: I'm coming home!

Cut to the kitchen. Brak's Dad is reading the newspaper.

Brak's Dad: Say Joanna.

Brak's Mom: Dad, we said we'll call each other by Mom and Dad in the house and when with the kids.

Brak's Dad: Whatever, Joanna.

Brak's Mom: Say...George?

Brak's Dad: It says here Brak will be here any minute now with the Fairy Werewolf.

Brak goes through the door with the Fairy Werewolf.

Brak's Dad: Hello son.

Brak: Dad, no time! Must go to the abnormal pet shop at the Learnmore High School, quick!

Cut to the Learnmore High School. Cut to Zorak with Ol' Kentucky Shark.

Zorak: This is a shark.

Judge: Next.

Zorak: JERK!

Zorak walks off.

Principal: Give a warm and heartfelt clap to Zorak, the mantis WITH no heart.

The judge holds up a banner reading: "Jerkwad 2000000 3:16".

Principal: Now, please welcome Brrrrrrak.

Brak walks out with the Fairy Werewolf.

Judge: Brak, what is this creature?

Brak: It's a Fairy Werewolf.

Everyone gasps.

Brak: Like the one that attacked me.

Fairy Werewolf: Let me go, now.

Judge: Brak has also taught him English!

Brak: I suppose I did.

Judge: I like this pet, an ultra-rare Fairy Werewolf. 12.10.

Everyone cheers.

Fairy Werewolf: Let me go...NOW!

Judge: A threatening werewolf. 13.10.

Everyone cheers.

Zorak: Jerk.

The Fairy Werewolf mauls Zorak.

Judge: 14.10. 15.10. 16.10. 20.20!

Everyone cheers.

Zorak: That pet is going to pay.

Principal: Brak has won by 20.20 from our local un-humanized Simon Cowell.

Brak: I can't believe it.

Principal: Also Brak, you win a gift package to the local Spaceland St. Movie Theatre with free tickets to see the new hit movie "Space Ghost in Love". You'll get free service, free popcorn, and cleanness and also the theatre will be reserved just for you, also you win 1, 0000, 0000000,0000000,00000 bucks, well bye Brak.

Zorak: WHAT!

A cheque comes down.

Brak: I...I...I...I feel like a princess.

Principal: Of course you do.

Zorak: Zorak is green and mean baby!

Zorak sneaks to the stage and unleashes the Fairy Werewolf.

Fairy Werewolf: THE FAIRY WEREWOLF IS BACK!

The Fairy Werewolf stabs a wand through the judge's back.

Judge: 19.0, 18.0, 17.0, 16.0, 0.0. Dead.

The Judge lays dead.

Principal: Well, you lose Brak.

The Fairy Werewolf impales the Principal with a wand.

Principal: NOOOOOOOOO!

Zorak: Heh, heh, heh, heh. Score!

Brak's Dad: What the Hell?

Brak's Mom: Oh my God!

God: What?

Cut to the Fairy Werewolf destroying the set.

Audience: UAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHH!

The audience run off.

Audience Member: Must leave!

Brak's Dad: What was Zorak thinking?

Brak's Mom: The Fairy Werewolf has gone plumbago!

Brak: Zorak, what did you do that?

Zorak: Because I just did.

End credits.

Tansut: The Brak Show is not cancelled, nope. Not at all, what the Hell were you guys thinking? It ain't true, it ain't true. What the Hell where you guys thinking? Because, it wasn't true. Cancelled after only 28 episodes? You crazy? Because, it wasn't true.


	2. Different Braks

The Brak Show

Different Braks

Opening credits.

Cut to the lounge. It is night-time and Brak is super-gluing a football, a piece of machinery and a science board with two beakers strapped on to it.

Brak: Must finish, must finish.

Senor Science:(on TV): Okay children, it's time to wrap a cord around your football, then press the bottle-cap button super glued to the beaker which will make the football come to life.

Brak: Must finish, must finish.

Brak's Mom comes down in a robe.

Brak: Hi Mom.

Brak's Mom: Hello Brak, don't you think it's time for you to go to bed; it's nearly three in the morning.

Brak: No Mom, I just need to finish my science project.

Brak's Mom: Listen Brak, maybe I should do it for you...

Brak: MOM! How dare you say that? I have to do it myself, remember last year at the science fair.

Cut to the Learnmore High School.

Principal: Good, good...Clarence what's this?

Clarence: It's my new dad Gary's fluids, I'm making an atomic-superhuman!

Principal: Mmm, third place.

Principal hands out a ribbon.

Clarence: Yes, third place!

Principal: Janet, what's this?

Janet: It's a photo of me, in the nude. Showing our beautiful side to the aliens.

Principal looks at it, but only the viewer sees the back out of the photo which reads: "Brak Da Bomb!", "Brak's #1", "Brak Rulez", "Watch The Brak Show Sundays at 9:30 on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim". Principal hands out a first prize ribbon.

Principal: I don't need to see anymore, first prize!

Pause.

Principal: I still need to make a second prize ribbon.

Principal walks over to Brak, and his jog-head shaped like a "Tiki-Head".

Principal: A volcano shaped like a Tiki-Head? Second prize.

Brak: I didn't do it all my own, it was my Mom who helped me.

Principal: Your Mom did it?

Brak: Well, yeah.

Everyone laughs.

Janet: Brak, you're hilarious! You, dork.

Cut to Zorak looking at the photo.

Zorak: Ooh, baby. She's hot! Chicka, chicka wow!

Janet: Take me, Zorak!

Janet jumps on Zorak, and kisses him. Present.

Brak's Mom: I remember that, you rushed home crying that day.

Brak: Janet's actually pretty hot, but I still don't like her because she's a bitch.

Brak's Mom: Brak! Watch your mouth.

Brak: Sorry Mom.

Brak's Mom: Want me to make some warm cocoa?

Brak: No, thanks Mom.

Brak's Mom walks off.

Brak: Time to finish off my science fair project...

Brak finishes it off, and presses the button as the football comes alive.

Football: Hiya, Brak. I'm a Pigskin, made of pigskin. Anyway, Brak I'm alive it's you I should thank.

Brak pushes the button and it becomes inanimate again.

Brak: Uagh, I'm so tired.

Brak falls asleep on the couch.

Senor Science Singers:(on TV): His name is Senor Science; Science is his name, Senor Science save the day. Da, da, da.

News Alien:(on TV): News update, people who stay up to 2:57am, are going to die, sometime soon. Stay tuned for Space Ghost Coast to Coast, only on Channel 2, the only alien cable provider that shows Space Ghost.

Cut later.

Transition Announcer: At six o'clock the following people awoke.

Brak's Mom walks out. Brak wakes up.

Brak: WHA! HUH, I'M AWAKE!

Brak's Mom: Good morning, Brak.

Brak: Good morning, Mom.

Brak's Mom: Did you go to bed last night?

Brak: No, I dozed off around three o'clock.

Brak's Mom: Oh my God Brak, go to sleep. You need rest.

Brak: No I don't, I'm fine.

Brak's Mom: Alright, do you want breakfast?

Brak: Okay.

Cut to the kitchen. Brak is eating breakfast.

Brak's Mom: How did your science fair project go?

Brak: Good, I could actually...

Brak falls asleep, and then quickly wakes up.

Brak: ...win first prize.

Brak's Dad enters in European boxer-shorts, and in a robe.

Brak: Morning Dad.

Brak's Dad: Brak you're up...Joanna, I'm just going to get the newspaper.

Brak's Mom: Okay, George.

Brak's Dad walks off, then enters back in with the "Spaceland St. Times", and sits on his chair.

Brak: Dad, that's a different newspaper.

Brak's Dad: The president of the neighbour association "Galrog" cut off the route of the usual newspaper I get, oh well, how am I going to get my "Doghouse Charlie" fix?

Brak's Dad opens up the newspaper and reads it.

Brak's Dad: It says here that the Learnmore High School is holding its 138th annual science fair.

Brak: I know Dad; I'm going to enter again this year.

Brak's Dad: I don't know Brak, you have some tough competition.

Brak: Where did you read that?

Brak's Dad: It says here, nerdy foreign exchange student from Earth makes 1,000000,000000,000000,000000 parallel universes for the Learnmore High School science fair.

Brak: OH NO!

Brak's Mom: Oh, a parallel universe. And Earth? I met you on Earth when I invaded it didn't I.

Brak's Dad: Yes, and it was that day I fell in love with you, my darling. Also, that was the day your dad shrunk me!

Brak's Mom: He said it was an accident.

Brak's Dad: Oh, so now I'm wrong.

Brak's Mom: I never said that.

Brak: I'm going to Zorak's house; he'll know what to do.

Brak jumps over the fence, and his pants get stuck. Zorak hops in.

Zorak: Brak, what are you doing in my backyard?

Brak: Oh, I just want to know...HOW CAN I WIN THE SCIENCE FAIR!

Brak falls asleep, and then wakes up.

Zorak: Science fairs are for babies and nerds.

Brak: I have you know, I'm not a nerd.

Pause.

Brak: Anyway, I want to win tickets to see Space Ghost's new movie: "Space Ghost vs. the Osmonds".

Zorak: Space Ghost sucks.

Brak: Why?

Zorak: Because he just does.

Zorak blinks.

Brak: I like him.

Zorak: Means you're a loser.

Brak: Where does he live?

Zorak: In Mansionland.

Brak: Really?

Zorak: He has groupies, a weird wife and some other things.

Brak: Really?

Zorak: Yep.

Brak: I'm going to Thundercleese for help.

Cut to Thundercleese's house.

Door: State your name.

Brak: Brak.

Door: Hello Brak, from across the street.

The door opens and Brak walks in.

Brak: Thundercleese has the place made.

Cut to Thundercleese watching live action buildings exploding on TV.

Thundercleese: YES! The blood-drilled of war serves the icy-cold old blood-thirsty me.

Brak enters.

Thundercleese: Hello Brak.

Brak: Mr. Thundercleese, I'm going to lose a science fair to this nerd from Earth.

Thundercleese: Earthling? I will destroy him. I'll need the quartets.

Brak: No, I just need help.

Thundercleese: Help...to kill? To spill the blood of one's enemy?

Brak: No.

Thundercleese: I'm sorry neighbourhood Brak, I've just haven't been in battle for two straight months!

Brak: Poor guy.

Thundercleese: I need to spill the blood of the hateful!

Brak: You can spill the blood of Zorak?

Thundercleese: Of course!

Cut to Zorak walking near Thundercleese's house, Thundercleese shots cannons at him. Cut outside.

Zorak: Where's that dumb Brak?

A cannon hits Zorak and he explodes.

Zorak: WOW!

Cut inside.

Thundercleese: Go to school Brak.

Brak: I remember. Its ten minutes to eight!

Brak runs out as he kicks Zorak's feet away. Cut to the Learnmore High School. Brak enters the gymnasium.

Principal: Good morning Brak! Did you bring your science project!

Brak: OH NO! I forgot.

Principal: That means you get an F minus.

Brak: UAGH!

A person with hairy arms, legs, wearing noticeable contacts, and has pens in his chest pocket, and wears high pants enters. He also wears a helmet.

Brak: The Earth nerd.

Nerd: Hello, my name is Martin Hence.

Brak: Prince?

Martin: Hence.

Brak: Oh.

Principal: Did you bring your parallel universes?

Martin: Yes sir.

Martin brings out a stack-full of boxes.

Brak: Those are just boxes!

Martin: To the contrary, the boxes contain the universes. "snort" I got it off Futurama.

Brak: What's Futurama?

Martin: Oh, you wouldn't know.

Brak: Tell me.

Principal walks over to Janet.

Janet: Hello Principal.

Principal: Hello Ms. Jordan.

Janet: Hello.

Principal: Recent school-crackdowns on teachers and staff perving at students mean that...

Janet: Here's a tape of me having sex with Zorak.

Principal: I don't need to see it. FIRST PRIZE!

Martin: What?

Principal: Oh Martin, you get second prize.

Clarence: I hope I get third prize for my Baby-Bottom softener.

Principal: Third prize for Clarence.

Clarence: YES!

Principal: And again, Brak gets the Dumb Science Dude Hat 2003.

Brak: But I got the Dumb Science Dude Hat 2003 last year.

Principal: Whatever.

Brak: Oh, I made it for nothing. And I'm so tired...

Brak falls asleep on the box.

Martin: Don't fall asleep on the box!

Brak gets sucked into the box.

Martin: Oh, nutty-fudge-kins!

Martin slams down on his table and the boxes get all mixed up.

Martin: Oh, which box did he go in again?

Cut to a place. A subtitle reading: "Universe 666". The poorly-drawn and voiced Brak from "Sealab 2021" enters and sees the other Brak.

Brak: Hi, my name is Brak.

Poorly Drawn Brak: Hi, my name is also Brak.

Brak: Wait, how can you be Brak and I be Brak?

Dramatic chord.

Poorly Drawn Brak: I don't know.

Cut to commercial.

Cut to the Gymnasium. Martin rushes over to the Principal.

Martin: Principal! Principal! Brak got sucked into one of my parraell universes!

Principal: Your kidding? We can just get him back.

Martin: Well, I don't know...but the box gets locked-tight when someone enters.

Principal: Why did you do that?

Martin: Because...for privacy.

Pause.

Principal: Sick.

Cut to the Principal's office.

Principal: Mr. and Mrs. Bashington, I'm sorry to say this...

Brak's Dad: My son lost the science fair?

Principal: Yes, but something much worse has occurred.

Brak's Mom: Worse?

Principal: Worse. Your son got trapped in one of Martin Hence's parallel universes, and we can't get him out.

Brak's Mom: WHAT?

Principal: Cry out all your tears Mrs. Bashington, Brak wasn't the best student, but at least he doesn't keep getting kept back like Zorak. I mean his 44 years old now for God's sake.

God: What?

Principal: We need to get our best science person.

Cut to a science room. Thundercleese is in the room teaching science, as the Principal and Brak's parents enter.

Thundercleese: Hello Principal Davies.

Principal: Yes, hello Thundercleese.

Thundercleese: What seems to be the matter?

Brak's Mom: Thundercleese? You teach science.

Thundercleese: To these carbon-life forms, yes. It's a job I, get by.

Principal: Mr. Thundercleese, Brak is stuck in a parallel universe!

Thundercleese: BRAK! OH NO!

Cut to the gymnasium.

Thundercleese: Where are the boxes?

Principal: Over here.

Thundercleese: According to my sources, Brak is suffering.

Everyone gasps.

Janet: Who cares?

Thundercleese blasts Janet.

Janet: AAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH!

Principal: Thundercleese.

Thundercleese: What?

Principal: Oh nothing.

Brak's Dad: My poor son, whom may I give my seed to now?

Sisto walks in and coughs.

Brak's Dad: Oh, hey Sisto.

Brak's Dad looks away as Sisto farts on his head.

Brak's Dad: "sniff, sniff" What's that smell?

Sisto: Nothing.

Brak's Dad: What was that?

Sisto: Nothing.

Brak's Mom: I wonder what's happening to Brak now.

Cut to Parallel Universe 666.

Poorly-Drawn Brak: Brak, I'm the real Brak.

Brak: No, I'm Brak.

Poorly-Drawn Brak: Nope, me. Brak, now.

Brak: No, can you sing the Beans song?

Poorly-Drawn Brak:(singing): Uh, beans, beans, the musical fruit, the more you eat, the more you toot?

Brak: No. It's not how it goes.

Poorly-Drawn Brak: Then whose the real Brak?

"The Real Slim Shady" music starts up.

Brak:(singing): I'm the real Brak, I'm the real Brak, all you other Braks are just imitating, so may the real Brak please stand up, please stand up, please stand up. The real Brak is going to sing the "Beans" song, he knows, and he knows nose the real Brak, the real Space Ghost, the real Zorak, the real Moltar, the real Cloud and the real Lokar! May, the real Brak please stand up, please stand up, please stand up, please stand up, all you other Braks are bad imitators, your lump on your head looked like it was caused by the bed, so may the real Brak please stand up...

The music stops.

Brak: Yeah.

Poorly-Drawn Brak: Pretty good...but I'm much better looking.

Brak: Are not.

Poorly-Drawn Brak: May so!

Brak: May so? Your you that dumb, mister?

Poorly-Drawn Brak: No.

Brak: Yes you are.

A poorly-drawn Dad enters.

Poorly-Drawn Dad: Hello son.

Poorly-Drawn Brak: Hi Dad.

Brak: Dad? You're not my Dad.

Poorly-Drawn Dad: Brak, whose this buffoon?

Poorly-Drawn Brak: Some guy who thinks his me.

Brak: I am you!

Poorly-Drawn Dad: Hey listen, fatso...

Brak: Fatso?

Poorly-Drawn Brak: Yeah, fat.

Brak: Fat?

Brak pushes his stomach and vomits.

Poorly-Drawn Dad: There is a portal leading out of town.

Brak: Out of town, would that mean I'm back in Learnmore High School?

Poorly-Drawn Dad: I don't know, just enter it.

Poorly-Drawn Brak: It's been there since he got here.

Poorly-Drawn Dad: Maybe it's his pathetic home.

Brak: Maybe it is...hey, my home isn't pathetic.

Poorly-Drawn Dad: Enter it, little fatso.

Brak enters the portal as he turns back and forth.

Brak: This is a bumpy ride! AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!

Cut to Universe 30. Brak enters and sees a Cowboy Brak.

Cowboy Brak: Hello there.

Brak: This guy looks like me, except his wearing cowboy stuff.

Cowboy Brak: Hey, this guy looks like me, except his isn't wearing cowboy stuff.

Brak: Hi, my name is Brak.

Cowboy Brak: Hi, my name is also Brak.

Brak: Can I call you Brak the Kid.

Cowboy Brak: Can I just call you Brak?

Brak: Okay.

Cowboy Brak: Then I'll be Brak the Kid.

Cut to the gymnasium.

Thundercleese: We need to go inside, somehow.

Martin: But we can't because I built a privacy-lock on it.

Thundercleese: So, we need to figure out how to decode all the locks.

Martin: But I forgot to bring the piece of paper of how to decode it.

Thundercleese: Once we find how to decode on our own, we enter in all the boxes to try and find Brak.

Martin: But we can't, because there are a lot of boxes and every time someone enters a universe, a portal opens up to lead to an other random universe.

Thundercleese: WHAT!

Martin: I'm sorry.

Thundercleese: Since they are heaps of universes we need to find the universe with Brak inside.

Janet: Why can't we just leave him to his doom?

Thundercleese blasts Janet.

Janet: AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!

Brak's Mom: You need to find a way to save my Brak!

Zorak walks in.

Zorak: I heard a rumour that Brak's stuck in one of those paradoxes.

Martin: Paraboxes they are called.

Zorak: So it's true?

Pause.

Martin: Yes.

Zorak: Radical.

Zorak blinks.

Brak's Dad: We need to figure out a way to save Brak, and fast...

Martin: Before he dies.

Dramatic chord.

Brak's Mom: WHAT!

Martin: The air pressure in the atmosphere in all the universes will certainly crush and kill him.

Zorak: Cool.

Thundercleese tries to blast Zorak, but then stops.

Thundercleese: What's the use?

Cut to commercial.

Cut to Universe 30.

Cowboy Brak: You know what Brak? You're alright.

Brak: You too buddy, Brak the Kid.

Cowboy Sisto enters.

Cowboy Brak: This is my cowboy brother, Sisto.

Brak: I have a brother Sisto too!

Cowboy Sisto: Yeah, that's nice.

Cowboy Brak: Does his always plan evil schemes?

Brak: Yep.

Cowboy Brak: So does mine.

Cowboy Sisto: I'm right here.

Brak: Say Brak the Kid, where do you get your hair done?

Cowboy Brak: Jack Buck n' Cuts.

Brak: Oh, Jack is a miracle-worker.

Cowboy Brak: Like, I know.

Brak: It's great.

Cowgirl Brak's Mom enters riding a pony.

Cowgirl Brak's Mom: Dinner time, Cowboy Brak and Cowboy Sisto.

Brak: Well, see you.

Cowboy Brak: Can my friend come and stay with us?

Cowgirl Brak's Mom: I don't see why not.

Cut to the dinner table. Cowboy Brak's Dad, Cowgirl Brak's Mom, Cowboy Brak, Cowboy Sisto and Brak are having dinner.

Cowboy Brak's Dad: Say, who's this non-cowboy fellow?

Brak: Brak.

Cowboy Brak: His the "normal" Brak.

Cowboy Brak's Dad: Well, good evening to you normal Brak.

Brak: Hello Cowboy Dad.

Cowboy Zorak enters.

Cowboy Zorak: Can I have some food?

Cowboy Brak's Mom: No Cowboy Zorak.

Cowboy Zorak: Ugh.

Cut to the gymnasium.

Thundercleese: 666.

Lock: No.

Thundercleese: Damn you!

Martin: I knew it had three numbers; they were all the same number...

Thundercleese: Figure it out, already!

Martin: Give me some time...

Thundercleese: TIME! NEIGHBOURHOOD BRAK IS IN DANGER...

Principal: Calm down Thundercleese.

Thundercleese: Okay, you have three seconds to live, how will you use them?

Martin: What?

Thundercleese: 3.

Martin: Ugh.

Thundercleese: 2.

Zorak: Here it comes!

Thundercleese: 1.

Lock: Lock deactivated, have a nice day.

Pause.

Sisto: What happened?

Pause. Sisto farts.

Thundercleese: The lock was deactivated.

Martin: Now I remember, my code was 3, 2, and 1.

Lock: I get your point.

Martin: It wasn't all the same number after all.

Thundercleese: You were lucky this time Mr. Hence.

Brak's Mom: So, who's going to go in and save my Brak?

Thundercleese: Martin, George, Sisto and Zorak.

Janet: What do we do then?

Clarence: Stay here.

Thundercleese: That's right.

Butchie: Butchie says beat the living crap out of tin-man over there!

Thundercleese: No.

Thundercleese blasts Butchie.

Cut to Universe 30.

Cowboy Brak's Mom: Bye Brak, sorry you had to go now.

Brak: Bye, I have to go home now through this portal.

Pause.

Brak: Wow, I said portal.

Brak steps through as he speeds right through. Cut to Universe XIX.

Roman Brak: Hello, I'm Roman Brak.

Brak: I'm normal Brak, nice to see you.

Brak steps through the portal.

Roman Brak: Bye!

Roman Brak's Dad: Cut off Roman Brak's head.

Roman Sisto: My pleasure.

Roman Brak: Huh?

Cut to Universe 10001.

Brak: Hello, dad.

Robot Brak's Dad: Hello carbon-life form Brak.

Brak: Huh?

Robot Brak's Dad explodes. Thundercleese enters.

Thundercleese: This is my universe.

Brak: Thundercleese is that you? Or a cheap parallel rip-off?

Thundercleese: Column B.

Brak: Okay, bye.

Brak goes through the portal to see a live-action person in a Brak costume.

Brak: Okay, this is freaky.

Cut to the gymnasium. Martin, Brak's Dad, Zorak and Sisto are wrapping cords around there waists.

Thundercleese: Remember, if one of you guys finds Brak, tug the cord and then you'll come out.

Brak's Dad: Okay, got you.

Brak's Mom: Watch out, George.

Brak's Mom kisses Brak's Dad on the forehead. The guys tug there cords and they go through random boxes. Cut to Zorak in Universe 667. Zorak meets by with a Devil Zorak.

Zorak: Hey.

Devil Zorak: Hey.

They both blink.

Zorak: You seen a Brak anywhere?

Devil Zorak: Yeah, Devil Brak.

Zorak: No, normal Brak.

Devil Zorak: Nope.

Zorak goes through another portal.

Devil Brak: What did you say about me?

Devil Zorak: NOTHING!

Cut to Brak's dad in Universe 1221. Brak's Dad meets up with crab-like Brak.

Brak's Dad: Brak, I hope that's you in a crab costume!

Crab Brak: Nope, real.

Brak's Dad: I'm leaving.

Dr. Zoidberg: BYE!

Brak's Dad goes through a portal. Cut to Martin in Universe 1. Martin meets up the nerd versions of the guys.

Martin: Brak.

Nerd Brak: Yes?

Martin: No Normal Brak.

Nerd Brak: He was here a few seconds ago, went through this portal.

Martin goes through the portal to Universe 2003. Martin meets up with a video game version of Brak (in, you guessed it, 3D).

Video Game Brak: Hi, I'm Brak. All your base are belong to us!

Martin: Seen a normal 2D Brak, somewhere?

Brak: Yeah, he was fun to listen to.

Martin runs off. Cut to Universe 90008. Sisto enters.

Old Brak: Ugh...Sisto, is that you.

Sisto: God Brak, you've aged and it's only been, what 36 hours?

Old God: What?

Sisto: Well, better come with me.

Brak enters through the portal.

Sisto: Hi normal Brak.

Brak: Hi Sisto.

Brak runs off to another portal.

Sisto: Wait? Normal Brak? BRAK! Come back!

Old Sisto: All grey mash ain't what they used to be.

Sisto: I hope I'm not like that when I turn elderly.

Sisto runs off.

Cut to Universe ABC. Brak runs through.

Baby Brak: A, B, C, D...

Baby Zorak punches Baby Brak, and Baby Brak starts crying.

Baby Zorak: Jerk.

Baby Brak: Big Zorak mean!

Brak: Why did you do that for?

Brak carries Baby Brak off and nurses him.

Brak: There you go, Baby Brak.

Zorak enters through the left portal.

Baby Zorak: Hey.

Zorak: Hey.

They both blink.

Brak: Hi Zorak.

Zorak: Brak, it's time to come home!

Brak: No, I'm just nursing a Baby Brak.

Zorak: Who the Hell cares?

Brak: I do...and the cow jumped over the moon.

Baby Brak laughs.

Baby Sisto: Can I be told a story.

Baby Zorak punches Baby Sisto, as Baby Sisto starts crying.

Brak: Bad Baby Zorak!

Brak carries Baby Sisto off.

Zorak: Good Baby Zorak.

Baby Zorak: Yep.

Sisto enters through the right portal.

Sisto: Sorry I'm late, but I went to the stripper universe.

Brak: Stripper universe?

Sisto: Yeah, saw Janet naked!

Zorak: Brak, if you don't come back home with us, me and Sisto will beat you up!

Brak's Dad enters through the right.

Brak's Dad: Hi, I saw your mother naked in the stripper universe.

Martin enters through the left.

Martin: That Soylent Green Universe I made was weird, they tried to eat me.

Baby Brak: Dada.

Brak's Dad: Baby universe?

Zorak: Okay, Brak, you're coming home...now.

Sisto grabs Brak and they go off.

Cut to the gymnasium.

Thundercleese: Where could they be?

The gang come out of the one box and they all hit the ground.

Thundercleese: Brak, you're back!

Brak: Yeah, that ride hurt.

Brak's Mom: BRAK!

Brak: In the flesh.

Brak's Mom hugs Brak.

Thundercleese: Now, where was I?

Thundercleese blasts Martin.

Brak: What was that for?

Thundercleese: I forgot.

End credits. The Real Brak song is heard during the credits.


	3. Zombie in Da Hood

The Brak Show

Zombie in Da Hood

Opening credits.

Cut to the kitchen. Brak's Dad is reading the newspaper while Brak's Mom is sitting down on her chair next to him.

Brak's Dad: It says here the head cheerleader for Learnmore High School Janet Jordan is holding the Halloween party at her house this year. Everyone's invited...

Cut to the shot of the newspaper that says: "Yes, Even You Brak".

Brak's Dad: Yes, even you Brak.

Cut to the normal.

Brak's Mom: Isn't it great, Brak's so excited; I helped him out choosing costumes.

Brak's Dad: What is he dressed up as?

Brak's Mom: You'll see.

Zorak dressed up as a Devil enters.

Zorak: Hey guys, guess who I am!

Brak's Dad: Satan.

Zorak: No, the devil.

Pause.

Brak's Dad: They're the same thing, Zorak.

Zorak: Oh, I didn't know that.

Brak's Dad: Well, good day.

Zorak:(with British accent): Cheerio.

Brak's Mom: If you want to know, Brak's in his room.

Zorak: Thanks, Joanna babe.

Zorak walks off.

Brak's Dad: Eh, I don't know what Brak sees in him.

Cut to Brak's room. Brak is dressed up as Dracula.

Brak: If you want to know who I am, I'm Cooooount Dracula!

Dr. Grumbles: Really?

Brak: Oh yeah.

Dr. Grumbles: Well, happy Halloween Brak.

Dr. Grumbles flies off as Zorak walks in the room.

Zorak: C'mon Brak, we're going.

Brak: Not yet, I need to put my Dracula teeth on.

Zorak: Your teeth already look like Dracula, now let's go!

Brak: No, we have to wait for Sisto.

Zorak: Who cares, let's just leave.

Sisto enters in a Grim Reaper costume.

Sisto: Hi.

Brak runs off screaming.

Zorak: Heh, heh, heh...jerk.

Cut to the kitchen. Sisto, Zorak and Brak enter.

Brak's Dad: UAAAAGGGGH! DEATH! HIDE ME, MOTHER!

Brak's Mom: I'm not your Mom.

Brak's Dad runs off.

Brak's Mom: Don't you look all nice.

Brak: Sure do Mommy.

Sisto: Yeah, whatever Mom.

Zorak: Yeah, the Devil looks nice! His evil!

Brak's Mom: Oh well, do you want me to drop you off at Janet's house?

Brak: We're fine Mom.

Brak, Zorak and Sisto walk off.

Sisto: We're walking there.

Zorak: If it doesn't already seem obvious.

Cut to Thundercleese's house. It's night time as the gang walk past.

Brak: Hi Thundercleese! Happy Halloween!

Thundercleese: Halloween is a pointless holiday to scare off carbon-based life-forms for candy. IT'S STUPID I TELL YOU! STUPID!

Thundercleese flies off.

Thundercleese: AWAY!

Zorak: God, robots are so lame.

Zorak gets blasted.

Zorak: OW! MY...THINGIES!

Sisto: Deserve it, Zor-ache.

Sisto and Brak walk off; as Zorak's remaining body parts (his feet) walk off as well. Cut to Janet's house. Sisto pushes the door bell as Janet's Mom answers it.

Janet's Mom: Hello, you must be one of Janet's guests.

Brak: Yep, you got that right Mrs. Jordan!

Zorak re-generates.

Zorak: Hi.

Janet's Mom: And you must be Janet's boyfriend.

Zorak: Boyfriend?

Janet walks in.

Janet: Mom, are you embarrassing me?

Janet's Mom: Well you must be, because Janet told me how she got to second base with you.

Zorak: Huh?

Janet: Come in Zorak and Sisto.

Zorak and Sisto enter.

Janet: Come in Brak, before I change my mind.

Brak: But you said for them to come in...

Janet: I've chang...

Brak: I'LL BE GOOD!

Brak runs in.

Janet: Eh.

Cut inside. There are a lot of teenagers in Halloween costumes. Clarence is in a Brak costume, Butchie is in a Frankenstein costume. There is music booming in the room. The current song on is "Guilty Conscience".

Janet: Do you want some punch?

Brak: I'll like some punch.

Janet: Okay, serve it yourself.

Zorak: I'll like some beer.

Janet: Okay, sweetie.

Janet kisses Zorak on the cheek and walks off.

Zorak: Eh.

Janet's Dad walks in.

Janet's Dad: You the fellow going out with my daughter?

Zorak: No, we just...did it once.

Janet's Dad: When you have sex with a Jordan, it means you're in a relationship.

Zorak: A sexual relationship?

Janet's Dad: No, the other one.

Zorak: We ain't going out; she just has a thing with me.

Janet's Dad: See that you don't, and also to never lay hands on my daughter, ever again!

Janet's Dad swings out a knife.

Zorak: As they say, no time like the present!

Zorak tries to run off as Janet enters.

Janet: Daddy, what are you doing to my boyfriend?

Zorak: I'm not your boyfriend! That's it, me, Sisto and Brak are leaving!

Brak: But I haven't finished my punch yet.

Sisto: And I haven't finished going to first base yet.

Zorak: NOW!

Sisto: Ugh...here's some email address.

Sisto writes down on a piece of paper and gives it to a girl in a Sharon Tate costume.

Zorak: Goodbye.

Zorak, Sisto and Brak walk off. Cut outside, it's really dark as they walk along the footpath.

Brak: Zorak, this is spooky.

Zorak: Scaredy cat.

Brak: Can we go back inside?

Zorak: NO DAMNIT!

Sisto: C'mon, I met this chick named "Tina" it says it all doesn't it?

Zorak: No.

Cut to Thundercleese's house. Thundercleese flies back on the lawn.

Thundercleese: Hello neighbourhood Brak, party done already?

Brak: Yeah.

Zorak: Whatever jerk.

Brak: C'mon Zorak, don't.

Zorak: You big metal lummox!

Thundercleese: GRRRRRRRRR!

Brak: Zorak...

Zorak: Fire it up.

Brak: NOOOOOOO!

Thundercleese flies a missile which Zorak and Sisto runaway from.

Brak: Slow down.

Thundercleese: Go home, neighbourhood Brak.

Brak: But can I stay in your house for the rest of the night?

Thundercleese: No, you only live across the street.

Brak: Oh, okay...

Brak walks off.

Brak: Hello.

An echo sounds.

Brak: Oh, someone who sounds like me is saying hello.

The Fairy Werewolf runs off and howls.

Fairy Werewolf: AHOOOOOO! OW, OW! AHOOOOO!

The Fairy Werewolf runs off.

Fairy Werewolf: Happy Halloween.

Brak: Phew, just the Fairy Werewolf.

A dark, gloomy figure with skeletal hands enters.

Dark Figure: There's room for one more.

Brak: Hi Mr. Broom.

Mr. Broom: Hi Brak.

He walks off.

Brak: Sure is scary.

Thundercleese: Go home!

Brak: Please! Can I stay?

Thundercleese: No.

The Grim Reaper enters.

Grim Reaper: Hey, I'm the Grim Reaper, I'm afraid I have to kill you now.

Brak: WHAT! UAAAAAAGH! A STRANGER!

Brak runs off.

Brak: AAAAAAAGGGGH!

The Grim Reaper follows.

Grim Reaper: You had to die three seconds ago!

Brak: Never.

Action music starts up as Brak runs off in Thundercleese's backyard.

Pawncleese: My superiority is very good.

Brak climbs over the fence.

Brak: Must go!

Grim Reaper: I'm afraid; you have to die Mr. Bashington.

Brak: But I'm only 15! I committed crimes with my brother in the '60s when me and Sisto went to Mr. Thundercleese's time machine.

Brak runs off then slips.

Brak: I'm afraid this is the end, Mr. Imaginary guy.

Grim Reaper swings out his scythe.

Grim Reaper: Time to put you out of your misery...

Brak: UAAAGGGH!

A badger bites on the Grim Reaper's leg.

Grim Reaper: Hey! Hey! Stop that, that's hurting me.

The Grim Reaper's leg breaks off and touches Brak, as the Grim Reaper hops off.

Brak: Ugh, my final words will be...you're my hero Space Ghost.

Brak dies.

Brak: Ugh.

Brak awakens and his skin turns green.

Brak: What was that about?

Brak stands up.

Brak: My skin is all greenish...and I have a craving...for brains.

Pause.

Brak: Oh well.

Brak walks off. Cut to the morning. Cut to the kitchen.

Brak's Dad: Ugh mother, out of all the nights I've slept with caution about my kids' safety that was THE greatest.

Brak's Mom: Speaking about the kids' safety, Sisto came home...but Brak didn't.

Brak's Dad: Call the police!

Cut outside. The police walk in and meet up with Brak's Mom.

Policeman: Mrs. Bashington, I'm afraid your son Brak is dead...

Brak's Mom breaks down in tears.

Policeman: It's all right Mrs. Bashington.

Brak (still greenish) enters.

Brak: Hello mother, hello father. Here I am at, the house.

Brak's Mom: BRAK! You're...alive.

Dramatic chord.

Sisto: Cool.

Cut to commercial.

Cut to the kitchen.

Brak's Dad: So son, what you are saying...you stayed over there all night.

Brak: Yes.

Brak's Dad: Well, there's certainly something odd about you.

Sisto: Let's see, green fever.

Brak's Dad: Green Fever?

Sisto: Maybe his sick, it is autumn you know.

Brak's Dad: No, that's usually winter you get the flu.

Brak's Mom: What about the November sweeps? I mean, sweeping causes sickness.

Brak's Dad: It's October, mother.

Brak's Mom: Nope, it's November now. It was Halloween yesterday.

Brak's Dad: Oh, yes.

Sisto walks off and feels his pulse.

Sisto: His dead.

They gasp. Zorak hops in.

Zorak: Hey, I heard Brak's a zombie.

Brak's Dad: How do you know?

Zorak: Because, word spreads quickly.

Brak bites Zorak's neck and Zorak's skin turns greener.

Zorak: Eh.

Brak grabs his brain, and swallows it.

Brak: More brains.

Brak walks off.

Brak: More brains.

Zorak: Eh, must have some...brains.

Brak's Dad: Who's going to go after him?

Pause.

Everyone Except Brak's Dad: You.

Brak's Dad: Sisto.

Cut to the car. Brak's Dad is driving and can barely see as noises of pedestrians are heard.

Brak's Dad: Brak, Brak, c'mon Brak.

Cut to the bus stop. Brak walks over to Janet.

Janet: Brak, it's not Halloween on November 1st you know.

Brak: bleep you.

Janet: Huh?

Brak bites Janet's head off and grabs her brain and swallows it.

Brak: More brains.

Brak drops Janet's head and walks off, as Janet lies dead.

Brak: Brains...brains...brains.

Brak's Dad walks over to the bus stop.

Brak's Dad: Janet, have you seen Brak?

Pause.

Brak's Dad: So, Brak ripped off your head?

Pause. Brak's Dad leaves.

Brak's Dad: I'm leaving.

Cut to the mall.

Brak:(singing): Zombies, Zombie in Da Hood, eating brains is what I do, I'll suck your blood, it's what all I do, zombies. Zombie in Da Hood. Eating people's brains, sucking people's blood, ripping heads, eating people, it's the life of a zombie. Zombie in Da Hood. Zombies have no feelings or no Goddamn heart pulse; it's so easy to fake your death. Zombies. Zombie in Da Hood.

Brak's Dad zooms in.

Brak's Dad: Brak, you come now!

Brak: Never old man.

Brak's Dad: YES!

Pause.

Brak's Dad: Old?

Brak: Yeah, man. I'm a Zombie Gangster!

Brak's Dad: Not anymore.

Brak's Dad swings out a sack and puts Brak inside, tightens the sack and walks off. Cut to the car. Brak's Dad is putting the sack with Brak inside in the boot, as Brak's Dad walks off and starts the car again. Cut later.

Brak:(V.O): I'LL EAT YOUR BRAIN!

Brak's Dad:(sarcastic): Of course you will.

Cut to the kitchen. Brak's Dad enters with a sack and dumps it on the floor as he takes his spot on the chair.

Brak:(V.O): I'LL KILL YOU!

Brak's Mom: George, did you put him in a sack?

Brak's Dad: Yes.

Brak's Mom: And you didn't use the tranquiliser?

Brak's Dad: Nope, bad idea in the first place.

Brak's Mom: Anyway I called up a Zombietalogist.

Brak's Dad: Zombietalogist? What's that?

Brak's Mom: A doctor who studies zombies.

Brak's Dad: What a waste of a live.

Zorak: Eh.

Brak's Dad: Hey Zorak.

Zorak bites Brak's Dad's head, and swallows his brain.

Brak's Dad: Did he eat my brain?

Brak's Mom: Yes.

Brak's Dad: Okay then.

Brak's Dad's skin turns green.

Brak's Dad: Must have brains.

The Wasptalogist from "The Eye" enters.

Wasptalogist: Hello, I'm Matthew the Zombietalogist.

Brak's Mom: Wait, I know you. You're that wasptalogist.

Wasptalogist: I can study two things!

Brak's Mom: Okay, I've got a zombie son who spread the zombie epidemic to his friend and my husband.

Wasptalogist: Okay, where is he?

Brak's Mom: In the sack.

Wasptalogist: I'll just open the sack and...

The Wasptalogist opens the sack and Brak attacks him and mauls him, rips his head out and sucks his blood, and then finds his brain and swallows it.

Wasptalogist: I died doing my favourite thing, being mauled by idiotic zombies.

The Wasptalogist dies.

Brak's Mom: NOOOOOOOO!

Brak's Mom runs over, then comes back with Sisto and then runs off. Cut to Thundercleese's house.

Door: State your name.

Brak's Mom: Joanna Melissa Bashington.

Sisto: Sisto Andy Bashington.

Door: You are accepted, as you are the Bashingtons from across the street.

The door opens and then they enter.

Sisto: Wow.

Thundercleese walks over.

Thundercleese: Hello Mrs. Bashington, hello Brak's brother.

Sisto: Hey, say your Thundercleese right? I mean, we never personally met.

Thundercleese: Yes, but we met up previous times like at the dinner party last year, and Christmases, we always meet for special occasions.

Sisto: Now I remember.

Brak's Mom: Thundercleese, can we stay over your house for a few days? My son, husband and Zorak turned into zombies, and if we live there, me and Sisto might turn into zombies always.

Thundercleese: You made the right choice; we've got more security then any house in the entire universe.

Sisto: Aren't we paranoid?

Thundercleese: You must die!

Brak's Mom: Calm down, Thundercleese. Apologize to Mr. Thundercleese, Sisto.

Thundercleese: I'm sorry.

Sisto: I'm sorry too.

Pause.

Brak's Mom: So...can we stay?

Thundercleese: Yes.

Brak's Mom: Where do we stay?

Thundercleese: You stay in the spare room, I don't use it anyway, and Sisto you sleep in my room. I'll just sleep on the couch, because I can't feel comfort anyway.

Brak's Mom: Okay, then it's settle!

Cut to Thundercleese's room. Sisto and Thundercleese enter.

Sisto: The bed is made of metal?

Thundercleese: Don't worry, the bed is in "Robot Comfort Mode", I'll just turn it back to "Normal Mode".

Thundercleese turns the bed back to normal.

Sisto: Thanks.

Thundercleese: Remember, in my house and my room; don't touch any of my things...

Pause.

Thundercleese: Don't touch.

Pause.

Thundercleese: Anything.

Thundercleese flies off.

Sisto: What a paranoid monkey!

Thundercleese: I shall destroy you!

Sisto: Whoops.

Sisto hides under the bed.

Sisto: I don't think he knows where I am.

Cut to the spare room.

Thundercleese: Mrs. Bashington, you can sleep in this bed.

Brak's Mom: Thankyou, Thundercleese.

Thundercleese: Remember, don't touch anything, anything can DO anything. You understand, Mrs. Bashington?

Brak's Mom: Yes Thundercleese and you can just call me, Joanna.

Thundercleese: BUT THAT WOULD BE RUDE!

Brak's Mom: No, not at all.

Thundercleese: Okay...Joanna.

Door: SECURITY BREACHED! SECURITY BREACHED! SECURITY BREACHED!

Thundercleese: What the?

Brak's Mom: Security breached?

Thundercleese: That means the zombies are on my lawn!

Door: DOOR SELF DESTRUCT IN 10 SECONDS!

Thundercleese: If the door self destructs, zombies will enter sucking your blood! And my special robot oil!

Brak's Mom: What do we do?

Thundercleese: We must go to...Mexico.

Dramatic chord.

Brak's Mom: What's Mexico?

Thundercleese: It's a primitive place on Earth, where they now accept robots and space aliens; it's only a thirty-three month deal!

Brak's Mom: That's a great deal.

Brak's Dad: I come for blood, and brains!

Thundercleese: No time to waste, we must go now!

Thundercleese punches in a code and the fortress flies off, Brak's Dad then falls on the lawn.

Brak's Dad: What in the hot Spanish goddess' name happened?

Brak: They're escaping! We must go!

Zorak: Where are there going?

Brak: Mm...let's just stay here.

Zorak: Good idea.

Brak's Dad, Brak and Zorak walk off.

Brak: Let's get some root beer.

Cut to the fortress. Sisto enters the spare room.

Sisto: What happened?

Brak's Mom: We're going on a vacation to Earth, Mexico.

Sisto: Cool, never been to Earth.

Cut to an exterior shot of the fortress flying towards Earth.

Thundercleese:(V.O): Prepare for landing on Riegel 7, I mean Earth.

Cut to commercial.

Cut to Brak's house. Cut to the kitchen, Zorak, Brak and Brak's Dad (reading the newspaper) are sitting in the table.

Brak: Okay, so we got the Zombietalogist, who next?

Zorak: How 'bout Galrog?

Brak's Dad: You reading this newspaper, Galrog is banning public prostitution! Who will pimp poor old George, now?

Brak's Dad starts crying.

Zorak: That's why we should attack his wife, and then Galrog will come to the rescue, then attack him, then his son Galrog Jnr. will come to get milk, so he won't talk...ATTACK HIM! HA!

Brak: Great idea.

Brak's Dad: Can I pimp Janet Jordan? She's one hot lady.

Zorak: Sure, she's already dead.

Brak and Zorak walk off.

Brak's Dad: George Jordan.

Cut to the fortress.

Thundercleese: We're almost on Earth.

Sisto: How many more, days.

Thundercleese: 17 minutes till we arrive on Earth, Mexico.

Sisto: I said, days...DAYS!

Cut to Mexico. A stall full of illegal things is running. The fortress lands and crushes a donkey. Thundercleese, Sisto and Brak's Mom walk out.

Thundercleese: Welcome to Earth.

Sisto: This is Mexico? It's like Morocco.

Thundercleese: Yes, Mexico IS copying Morocco in the black market stuff.

Brak's Mom walks off to a Mexican man with a Fez hat.

Mexican Man: Hello hot space alien.

Brak's Mom: Hello, I'm Joanna.

Mexican Man: My name is Bill Doorman. I sell crack pipes, pot pipes, smack pipes, ecstasy pipes and speed pipes. Any sort of pipe where you smoke drugs from.

Brak's Mom: Drugs? Oh my, it appears what they said about Earth is true. Drugs rule the planet.

Bill: C'mon! Try our brand new, on the market drug pipe, Trac pipe.

Brak's Mom: Trac pipe?

Bill: Yes, it's 99 percent FRESHLY planted plants.

Brak's Mom: And the other 1 percent?

Bill: Ecstasy, Marijuana, speed, smack, crack. You know drugs.

Brak's Mom: Well, I don't like the 1 percent drugs, but I love the idea of fresh plants.

Bill: Okay, twenty bucks...in space money.

Brak's Mom: Okay.

Brak's Mom hands the money to Bill, and smokes the pipe.

Brak's Mom: Whoa, this is good bleep!

Sisto walks over.

Sisto: Can I have some drugs?

Brak's Mom: Sure.

Brak's Mom hands Sisto the pipe, and he smokes it.

Sisto: Whoa, this is great crap!

Thundercleese flies over to them.

Thundercleese: What are these drugs?

Bill: You my robotic man need our also brand new robot pipe.

Thundercleese: Okay.

Thundercleese takes a pipe, and puts it through a cord.

Thundercleese: This is freshly addictive, I need more.

Bill: This is the one-stop drug place in Morocco.

Thundercleese: I thought this was Mexico!

Bill: Mexico and Morocco came one, so now half the population is Mexican!

Thundercleese: Oh...I need more drugs!

Bill: Okay, people twenty bucks a drug.

Cut back to Zorak and Brak.

Zorak: We made everyone on the planet, dead and zombified.

Brak: Zorak, that isn't a real word.

Zorak: So?

Brak: Well, I thought you would've likened to know.

Zorak: Guess what? I don't care, I don't care about anyone!

Brak: What about Sisto?

Zorak: Sisto, is my young evil version of me.

Brak: So what?

Zorak: I don't care! He wouldn't care! Everybody wins!

Galrog: Need brains.

Butchie: There are no brains at all in Ghost Planet, we're all zombies!

Dale Ghostal: I founded this planet, you know?

Clarence: What about the ice cream shop? Find brains and stick them in cones, because there's an ice cream shortage.

Brak's Dad zooms in.

Brak's Dad: Ice cream shortage! We're there!

Cut to the Ice cream shop from "We Ski in Peace".

Brak's Dad: Say goodbye, to the ice cream shop with the ice cream that tried to rob me.

Clarence: Goodbye to all the fudge machines, and the happy customers. This store is closing because they need to make room for a Starbucks.

Brak's Dad: We can sure use a Starbucks.

Clarence: Mr. Bashington?

Brak's Mom: Well, my wife don't make the best coffee I tell you this.

Clarence: Goodbye, ye Ice cream.

Dramatic music starts.

Brak: Us zombies have lost control of ourselves, we came so addicted to brains we mistaken pink ice creams for brains, it just isn't fair! What have we done!

Galrog: I don't see why zombies and norms...can't get along?

Zorak: Eh, so stupid.

Pawncleese: I will destroy you!

Pawncleese fires a missile that hits Zorak.

Brak: No...we need our norm blood back in us! We need the Grim Reaper!

Dramatic music stops.

Brak: Ahem! THE Grim Reaper.

Dramatic chord.

Brak's Dad: So true, we so need a Starbucks.

Butchie: Hey, my dad knows the Grim Reaper; maybe my dad can drive us to him.

Brak: Great idea, budda!

Butchie: Buddha.

Brak: Buddy.

Cut back to "Morocco".

Thundercleese: Hey you squares! You need party medication!

Sisto: Bill Doorman can give you a prescription.

Brak's Mom: My head hurts so much.

A man in a black suit, wearing a Fez hat enters.

Man: You, insulting me? President of Morocco?

Sisto: Yep.

President: And you expect me to take drugs, ruining all my anti-drug campaigns I endorse?

Sisto: Yep.

President: No.

Thundercleese: Hey, Mr. President! What are you going to do about it, huh?

President: I'll show you what I'll do.

Cut to Butchie's dad's car.

Butchie's Dad: So, you want me to drive you to the Grim Reaper's house?

Butchie: You drive, old man!

Butchie's Dad: Yes, Butchie.

Brak's Dad: So, Mr. Toughington...how are you?

Butchie's Dad: Alright.

Brak's Dad: Butchie Cassidy and the Sundance Kids?

Butchie: Whatever.

Brak: Racecars going to clear up put on a happy face.

Zorak: We're going to visit the bleeping Grim Reaper! Act more gloomily and doomy.

Brak:(singing): We're on a highway to Hell!

Zorak: Eh.

Cut to the Grim Reaper's house.

Grim Reaper: Hello, guys? Need souls to be reaped?

Brak: No, we need our brains back so we won't be dead anymore.

Grim Reaper: Okay.

A "pop" sound is heard. Everyone's skin turns back to normal.

Grim Reaper: Now that I've down a favour for you, you must do a favour for me...make my dreams of becoming a comedian true! I went to the Ghost Planet Chuckle Bucket, and critics labelled me the "Grin Reaper".

Brak: Okay, buddy!

Transition Announcer: 33 minutes and sixty killings later.

Cut to Brak's house.

Grim Reaper:(on TV): And the Jay Leno dissed the Pope? Isn't Jay Leno endorsing the Pope?

Canned laughter is heard.

Brak's Dad: God that joke stinks. Thank God for that annoying laugh track.

Brak: Just as long a laugh track is around, annoying people, anything is possible! Say, where's Mom, Sisto and Thundercleese?

Brak's Dad: I don't know...Earth?

Cut to Thundercleese, Brak's Mom and Sisto on a ship.

Thundercleese: Being deported to Alcatraz, I'm ashamed.

Brak's Mom: It's all your fault.

End credits. The song "Zombie in Da Hood" is heard during the credits.


	4. The Art of Sin

The Brak Show

The Art of Sin

Opening credits.

Cut to the lounge. Brak's Dad and Brak are watching TV.

TV: And after the break, ultra-violet comedian eediot Ren Hoek. His from the Sun.

Brak's Dad: Jeez, rub it in don't you?

Brak: I like watching "Comedians in Space", ever since it took the slot of Senor Science!

Brak's Dad: Shush son, I need to watch the commercials so I can complain more.

TV: On Ghost Planet, it's nearly Winter...but here at Ghost Planet Mountains it's always Winter!

Brak's Dad: Oh, boohoo!

Space Ghost: I, Space Ghost endorse this family resort.

Brak's Dad: Family resort!

Space Ghost: Where there is a pond to go fishing in...

Brak's Dad: Fishing!

Space Ghost: And you can expect to see me there from November 9th to May 9th, it's an offer you can't refuse!

Brak's Dad: Like Hell I can't!

Brak: C'mon Dad, it's just Space Ghost.

Brak's Dad: I need to keep an eye on Space Ghost, son...so that's why it's time to go to Ghost Planet Mountains!

Brak: Oh-kay.

Brak's Mom enters with the groceries.

Brak's Mom: What about the mountains?

Brak: We're going to the Ghost Planet Mountains!

Brak's Mom: Boy howdy, that sure sounds fun!

Brak's Dad: You're coming too, so is Sisto.

Brak: What about Zorak?

Brak's Mom: You stay away from Zorak.

Brak: Yes, Mom.

Brak's Dad: You see Brak, it's a family thing. Zorak isn't family.

Brak: I understand, dad.

Brak's Mom: Then it's settled!

Brak's Dad: We leave on Friday!

Brak's Mom: That's today, dear.

Brak's Dad: Oh-kay, let's get packed then.

Cut to Brak's room. Brak is packing up.

Brak: Okay, and Hippo Jnr. Okay, finished!

Zorak climbs through the window.

Zorak: Hey Brak.

Brak: Hi Zorak, I'm leaving to the Ghost Planet Mountains. You can't come.

Zorak: Like Hell I can't! I'm going with you.

Brak: No Zorak, it's a family thing.

Zorak: Family schmaily.

Brak: Zorak, I mean it!

Zorak: bleep no.

Brak: OH MY GOSH! YOU SWORE!

Zorak: Who cares, you need to loosen up once in awhile.

Zorak puts himself in Brak's bag.

Brak: Oh well, just as long no one knows.

Zorak: Hurry up! This toy is giving me a cramp, for Jesus' sake!

Brak: Zorak, you can't say Jesus, it's the Standards and Practises, if you want to say Jesus, say Gee Whiz.

Zorak: Gee Whiz, now let's go!

Cut to the car.

Brak's Dad: Okay, everything's packed.

Brak's Mom: Let's go!

Brak: Boy howdy! Brak on skis!

Sisto enters.

Sisto: I brought...nothing, except these awesome dragon ski boats and dragon skis!

Sisto puts them in the car.

Zorak: OW!

Sisto: Let's go, before I change my mind.

Cut to Brak's Mom driving the car.

Brak's Dad: Why are you driving?

Brak's Mom: Because, you're too short, dear.

Brak's Dad: Eh.

Brak: Truth...or dare.

Sisto: Dare.

Brak: I dare you to make sweet love to me!

Sisto: God Brak, you're so gay.

Brak: UGH! You said God's name in vain, you have to say GOSH.

Sisto: Whatever.

Brak: It's the way television goes.

Sisto: Television doesn't go by your rules; loosen up once in a while.

Zorak: THAT'S WHAT I SAID!

Brak: Listen Sisto, I made a system where if anyone here swears...it's replaced by a funny noise.

Sisto: Okay then, honk.

Brak: Yeah, it's funny.

Brak's Dad: Brak, you're turning into the FCC.

Brak's Mom: Oh gawk.

Sisto: This is not funny, you fat dolphin noise.

Zorak: Brak, you stupid ship sinking noise.

Cut to Ghost Planet Mountains.

Brak's Dad: We're here.

Brak: Yes!

Sisto: Stupid motherkiss noiseing Brak!

Brak: Okay, I'll turn it off.

Sisto: Thanks, you bastard. Loosen up.

Brak's Dad: Listen, to your brother Brak.

Brak: But his only 13, I'm 15.

Brak's Dad: So, still listen to him.

Cut to the snowy mountains. Cut inside a hotel.

Hotel Attendant: Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Bashington welcome to the Ghost Planet Mountains.

Space Ghost enters.

Space Ghost: Hiya, is that you George?

Brak's Dad: Space Ghost! I can't believe my furry little ears.

Brak's Mom: Oh God, not you.

Brak: Stop saying God's name in vain!

Brak's Mom: Jeez Brak, loosen up.

Zorak hops in.

Zorak: Hey.

Space Ghost: You.

Space Ghost blasts Zorak.

Zorak:(sarcastically): Hello Mr. Space Ghost, how are you going? CARE TO KISS MY FRIGGIN' ASS!

Space Ghost: Nah.

Cut to the hotel room.

Space Ghost: This is the hotel.

Brak's Mom: We're not going to stay in here, we're only here...

Brak's Dad: For the week.

Brak's Mom: For the week? Brak, Sisto and Zorak have school on Monday.

Zorak: I was thinking about skipping.

Zorak grabs out a taser.

Zorak: Start some wild, weird crap.

Brak's Dad: C'mon Joanna, live a little.

Brak's Mom: Well, it would be nice to have a vacation.

Brak's Dad: Then it's settled, we stay for the week!

Space Ghost: I recommend this room.

Brak's Dad: That's a part of your endorsement...I'm not sure I trust you.

Space Ghost: The room is sixty percent off normal price!

Brak's Dad: That's a friggin' sweet deal! We'll take it.

Space Ghost's Brain: Suck them in Spacey, suck them in.

Zorak starts a tree-fire.

Zorak: Hey.

Space Ghost: YOU AGAIN!

Space Ghost blasts Zorak.

Zorak: Eh.

Space Ghost: Try the ten-star restaurant.

Brak's Dad: Boy, that's sweet!

Cut to the restaurant.

Brak's Dad: Boy that is...SWEET!

Brak's Mom: It is nice not to make dinner.

Brak's Dad: Mother, we can do whatever you want to do.

Pause.

Brak's Mom: I'm not your Mom.

Cut to the skiing mountains.

Brak: Hey Sisto, how come you know how to ski and I don't?

Sisto: I know, because I've practised.

Brak: Okay...what do you do?

Sisto: You need shoot out a pizza, then marshmallows and some over edible food of some kind.

Brak: Okay, I'm trying to ski.

Sisto: But don't shot a pizza straight after shooting a marshmallow, but when you don't shot a pizza, shoot a marshmallow, then you can shoot a pizza...

Brak's Brain: Why can't I just ski?

Sisto: ...then when after you shoot a pizza, you shoot a marshmallow, got it?

Brak: Yeah, yeah...whatever, shoot a pizza and marshmallow. Got it.

Brak starts skiing.

Brak: I'm doing it, I'm really doing!

Sisto: Brak! Brak! Watch out for that edge!

Brak: What edge?

Brak skis over a snowy cliff.

Brak: That cliff!

Brak falls on a rock, back first.

Brak: Ow, this hurts more then it sounds.

The rock crumbles and Brak lands on the icescape.

Brak: Ow, my back still hurts.

It starts cracking and Brak falls through.

Brak: AAAAAAAAAAGH! So cold!

Brak flies off.

Brak: I'm flying! I'm going to survive!

Brak then falls backwards, and his foot gets stuck on the edge of the cliff.

Brak: Sisto, help!

The water on Brak forms an ice-block.

Brak: GRRRRRRRR! So cold!

Sisto: Okay, I'm getting you Brak.

The ice-block with Brak inside falls and breaks on impact when it hits an iceberg.

Sisto: You okay?

Brak: Ow, this hurts so much! OW!

The edge of the cliff collapses on Brak.

Brak:(muffled): I'm okay.

Sisto: Holy bleep.

Cut to the hospital.

Doctor: Send Brak into emergency room, stat!

Brak's Mom: OH MY POOR BABY!

Brak's Dad: Joanna! Calm down!

Sisto: I could've helped him and be a hero...nah, I prefer being evil.

Zorak: You and me both, Jack.

Sisto: My name's not Jack.

Zorak brings out a taser and electrocutes Brak.

Brak: AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGH!

Brak's Dad: How did you get here?

Zorak: Bag.

Cut to the emergency room. Brak's Dad is smoking out the door, while Sisto is standing to the right of Brak, when Brak's Mom is sitting the left.

Brak: Oh man, that hurt.

Brak's Mom: You okay, son?

Brak: Yeah, you get used to the pain.

Brak's Mom: You do?

Brak: NOOOOOOOO I DON'T GET USED TO IT! IT'S PAINFUL, AAAAAAGH!

Zorak hops through the window with a Emmy award.

Zorak: Look what I jacked from Space Ghost's lair of stolen things. This is Denzel Washington's Oscar he won for Malcolm X in 1993.

Brak: Zorak, why are you so evil?

Zorak: I don't know, the way I was brought up. Anyway, I should keep this so it'll rise up in value. NOT! I'm going to trade if for ninety million dollars and waste it on evil things! Then do stuff with it, HA!

Brak's Dad: Just as long as you're okay, we've going for dinner.

Brak's Dad puffs out the smoke.

Brak's Dad: C'mon Joanna, it's time for dinner.

Brak's Mom: Since we have to go pay for the hospital bill, we have to go to the five-star restaurant.

Brak's Dad: Joanna!

Brak's Mom: Okay, but Sisto then has to rob money to pay off Brak's college fund.

Brak's Mom and Dad walk off.

Zorak: Brak, what can't you be more evil?

Brak: Why? I almost died; I reckon I should act nicer so I can go to Heave...

Zorak: WRONG! You have to live everyday, like it's your last!

Brak: Why?

Zorak: Because, you could die and not sin at all!

Brak: That's true, I haven't lived a day in my life...

Dramatic music plays.

Brak: ...I solemnly swear to live everyday like it's my last, like Zorak and Sisto do, I promise to not to abide the laws of the bible...awomen.

Dramatic music stops.

Zorak: You said you'll solemnly swear, now swear.

Brak: bleep.

Zorak: bleep yeah!

Sisto: Now, his one of us.

Brak: Mhm, bleep it.

Cut to commercial.

Cut to the hotel room. Brak walks in.

Brak: Hey, ever'buddy!

Brak's Mom: Hello Brak, gee you healed quickly.

Brak: I sure did mamma jam! Let's go home!

Brak's Dad: But, it hasn't been a week.

Brak: Yes it has dad.

Brak's Dad: Oh, let's pack our bags then.

Brak: We already packed them, dad.

Brak's Dad: What haven't we done?

Brak: Go home.

Brak's Dad: Okay, let's go. Zorak, Sisto...let's scoot.

Zorak: Okay.

Zorak blinks.

Zorak: Yeeeah.

Cut to the car.

Zorak: Brak, start acting evil!

Brak: Soon...I just want to go to Heaven at the same time.

Zorak: You can't have it both ways.

Brak: Yes, I can!

Zorak: How?

Brak: Ugh...I do the deeds, then go to the church and confess my sins!

Sisto: Gotta hand it to him, it's a good angle.

Brak: And how.

Zorak: DON'T!

Brak: Okay, I won't.

Sisto: I still reckon it was a good angle!

Zorak: I want Brak to go to Hell, literally!

Brak: Oh, okay...

Sisto: Party pooper.

Brak's Dad: What are you talking about it, back there?

Brak: That new season of "Senor Science".

Brak's Dad: Okay.

Brak: And your ass.

Brak's Dad: What about it?

Brak: And your bleep.

Sisto: Did you just say bleep?

Brak's Dad: What about my bleep?

Brak: I saw your bleep before.

Zorak: Holy bleep!

Brak: Hahahahahahahahahahaha. The evil-and-good Brak begins! bleep yeah!

Cut to the home. Kitchen.

Brak's Dad: Joanna, why was Brak talking about...you know, downstairs?

Brak's Mom: Maybe...his gay?

Brak's Dad: No, he better not be!

Brak: What's downstairs?

Brak's Dad: You know, p-e-n-i...

Brak's Mom: Oh, dear.

Cut to the church.

Brak: Dear father, I mentioned my dad's family jewels in a car ride.

Father: Really, Brak?

Brak: Is it alright if I confessed that to you, Father Seth?

Father Seth: Sure.

Brak: Good, say what is your first name after "Father", why not you're last?

Father Seth: My last name is hard to pronounce, I can't even pronounce it!

Brak: Is my secret safe with you, father?

Father Seth: Yes Brak, forgiveness is shadowed all over you, my son.

Brak: That sounds like something the Pope will say.

Father Seth: Who's the Pope?

Cut to Zorak's backyard. Brak and Sisto are staring at Zorak running after Raymond (from SGC2C) with a lighter.

Sisto: This is great? Right.

Brak: Oh yeah, Zorak trying to set his own nephew on fire is spectacular.

Zorak: Why am I doing it? When our new member of the "Evil League" should do it? BRAK!

Brak: Yes, Number 1 Zorak.

Sisto: I'm Number 2 Sisto.

Brak: There's a second Sisto?

Sisto: No, that's a combination of my rank and name. You're Number 3 Brak.

Sisto farts.

Sisto: That might be the beans I had for breakfast this morning kicking in.

The lighter goes off and sets Raymond on fire.

Sisto: Wow!

Brak: Oh, my.

Zorak: Brak, now you beat the crap out of him with a crowbar!

Zorak hands him a blue crowbar. Brak looks at it, and then hits Raymond repeatedly with it.

Zorak: How do you enjoy it?

Brak: Ugh...it was okay.

Zorak: Really?

Brak: Ugh...okay me suppose.

Zorak: You didn't like it, did ya? Then go and kill yourself!

Brak: No thanks.

Zorak: Then leave, and shoot Thundercleese's prized yard bunnies.

Brak: But, Thundercleese is my friend, I don't want to upset him!

Zorak: DO IT!

Brak: Okay.

Cut to Brak shooting the yard bunnies with a shotgun.

Brak: Shooting a bunny!

Zorak & Sisto: Shooting a bunny!

Brak: Killing some time!

Zorak & Sisto: Killing some time!

Cut to the church.

Brak: Father Seth, I beat up a little kid with a crowbar and shot yard bunnies, will you forgive me?

Father Seth: Yes Brak, forgiveness hangs over your head.

Brak: Is that good or bad?

Father Seth: Good.

Brak: Oh...good.

Father Seth: Good.

Brak: Good.

Father Seth: Good.

Brak: G-ood.

Cut to a fence. Zorak, Sisto, Brak and Brak's Dad are drinking beer.

Zorak: Yep.

Sisto: Yep.

Brak: Mh-hm.

Brak's Dad: Yep.

Zorak: What's this old geezer doing here?

Brak: I don't know!

Zorak: Well, kill him!

Brak: What?

Brak punches his dad.

Brak: Oh no, I punched him into a coma.

Cut to a card reading: "Seven Weeks Later". Brak's Dad wakes up on the grass.

Brak's Dad: Oh man, hello! Hello, where is everybody?

Brak's Dad walks into the house.

Brak's Dad: Say Joanna, Brak punched him into a coma.

Brak's Mom: I know, Brak has been acting strangely ever since he got injured. Maybe, it's time for an intervention?

Brak's Dad: Great idea!

Brak's Mom: We'll do it when Brak comes home from school.

Cut to the class. Everyone is wearing casts except Brak.

Teacher: Okay Brak, since you're the only person with two-arms available, can you dust out the erasers?

Brak: Sure.

Brak stands up and throws the erasers at him.

Brak: Ha, this is great! Ha!

Clarence enters.

Clarence: Mr. Hayfever, classes are swapping now.

Mr. Hayfever sneezes on Clarence.

Clarence: WHAT HAPPENED?

Brak throws chalk at him and beats him up.

Clarence: AAAAAAAGH!

Brak stabs him with a ruler.

Brak: Oh, man I'm so evil.

Principal: Brak, can you please report to my office, now!

Brak: Oh, bleep, what now?

Cut to the office. Brak is sitting files on fire while the Principal is speaking.

Principal: You so far have assaulted several people at this school, talking about sex, threatening to rape Janet Jordan, taking the science room hostage, and smoking and doing drugs. Brak, you're even setting things on fire while I talk!

Brak: How about, you're toupee?

Brak sets his toupee on fire.

Brak: How do you like it?

Principal: Brak, you're expelled until further notice! Now leave, my cough, what are you do...cough.

Brak: Smoking.

Brak grabs another cigarette and smokes it.

Brak: Ugh...cough cough.

Principal: You're definitely expelled, now Brak.

Brak: Oh, bleep off then you wanker.

Brak walks off.

Brak: I don't need school.

Cut back home. Brak walks in. The light is off.

Brak: Hey, guys. I stole one of the teacher's cars and drove it into the toilet, banged it up pretty bad. If the bills come, I'm burning it with my cigarette, you know.

The light turns on and everyone who has been in the series is in the kitchen.

Everyone: SURPRISE! INTERVENTION!

Brak: What the bleep now...cough!

Galrog: Brak, you have turned bad. You've done everything possible.

Thundercleese: Yes, you shot my yard bunnies.

Galrog: You killed my wife.

Principal: You did drugs and started smoking.

Janet: You threatened to rape me, stole a teacher's car, kidnapped me, and then raped me.

Brak: So? I'm evil now.

Brak's Mom: Brak, I don't want the evil one, I want the nice one who wouldn't hurt a fly.

Janet: As much as I hate you, I really hate your evil side, it's much better when you were all babyish.

Brak: bleep you, you bitch!

Sounds of a drink leaking are heard.

Slappy: What's that?

Brak: I'm peeing on the ground, figure it out.

Brak's Dad: Brak, please come back! Please!

Brak: Agh...how do you all know it's me?

Thundercleese: I don't know.

Janet: Let's leave.

Cut to them watching TV.

TV: And now a special service message from our new priest, Thundercleese.

Brak: Thundercleese!

Thundercleese: There is a sinner about, and it ain't Brak...so who is it?

Brak: Oh no!

Brak's Mom: Oh no, what?

Thundercleese: Call Go-2-Hell-U-S. The S is for Sinner.

Brak rings up.

Brak: It was my dad!

Brak's Dad: What?

Cut to commercial.

Cut to where it left off.

TV: A caller had callen up with the call-caller calling machine, and say Mr. George Bashington is the Spaceland sinner, we're assuming he framed Brak and tried to blame it on him. As you remember, Mr. Bashington ran in the Neighborhood Association election in 2001.

Brak's Dad: 2001? I could have sworn it was 2002.

Brak's Mom: You ill-minded bastard!

Brak's Mom slaps Brak's Dad.

Brak's Dad: Baby, it ain't true.

Brak's Mom: Sleep on the couch!

Brak's Dad: Whoever called them up...we'll be KILLED!

Brak: What?

Brak's Dad: I said...KILL!

Cut to the church. Father Seth is walking off with a suitcase.

Father Seth: Hello Brak, Thundercleese is the new priest now...so, what's up?

Brak: Father Seth.

Father Seth: No, just call me:"Seth".

Brak: Yeah, Seth...I called up the television station and blamed all my evil doings on my dad! What will I do!

Father Seth: Tell the new priest, it ain't my business no more.

Brak: No thanks.

Father Seth walks off.

Brak: So, Brak is in another tight situation. Time to consult Zorak and Sisto about the news.

Cut to the fence. Brak zooms in.

Brak: Hello, my name is Brak and I'm leaving your group.

Zorak: Why?

Brak: Because I went out of control,

Zorak: So? You were cool, you did everything that was wrong.

Brak: So? Being evil is easier for you, you're a no-hearted mantis, and I'm a sensitive space alien.

Sisto: I'm a space PIRATE!

Brak: Back in the '60s, but that was when you borrowed Mr. Thundercleese's time machine, we both went back in time, the '60s, and did evil things.

Sisto: I know, still fun.

Brak: I blamed my Dad for my doings; I don't deserve to look at myself in the mirror.

Zorak: There's a hole in your tooth.

Brak: WHAT?

Cut to Brak looking at himself through a mirror.

Brak: This syrup stains on my teeth are most probably the worst, and caused the hole.

Brak's Mom enters.

Brak's Mom: Go clean up Brak, we're going to see them kill your dad near City Hall.

Brak: THEY'RE GOING TO KILL MY DAD! OH NO, THAT'S HORRIBLE!

Brak starts crying.

Brak: Oh, no.

Brak's Mom: Now, now...now go clean up.

Brak: Okay, Mom. It's my entire fault.

Brak's Mom: No it wasn't Brak; it was your Father's.

Cut to city hall. Cut to a tied-up Brak's Dad in white boxer shorts in a catapult.

Brak: What are they doing, Mom?

Brak's Mom: Well, they're going to catapult your Father into the No Man's Land, get killed by piranhas and cavemen and rot into a skeleton, wait a million years, and brush the skeleton off and put it in a museum!

Brak: Oh...no.

Brak's Mom: Your Father deserves it, that cheap bastard.

Brak: Oh man.

Thundercleese: Let's sing the Robotic Hymn of Doom.

Thundercleese sings the hymn he sang in "Expiration Day".

Thundercleese: Okay, let's begin.

Clarence: Let's sing Don't Worry, Be Happy.

Thundercleese: Hell...

Clarence: Yes?

Thundercleese: ...no.

The bear from "Braklet, Prince of Spaceland" hops in and dances to the "Bonanza" theme music.

Everyone: Don't worry, be happy.

Brak's Dad: Okay, this will kill some time...

Brak's Dad rubs the rope together with the stick.

Brak's Dad: C'mon!

Brak's Dad gets set on fire.

Brak's Dad: Oh perfect.

The theme music stops.

Brak's Dad: Okay, untie me.

Thundercleese: No.

Brak's Dad's boxers rip to pieces, allowing people to see his...glory, pixelized of course.

Brak's Mom: Eh.

Brak covers his eyes.

Brak: Ugh...NAKED!

Thundercleese: Put some clothes on!

Brak's Mom: I see that every night before bed.

Brak's Dad: Let me put my European-style briefs on.

He puts on the briefs previously mentioned in "President Dad".

Brak's Dad: Better.

Thundercleese: Yes, now let's begin!

Clarence: Wait, you should test out the catapult first.

Thundercleese: Okay then.

Thundercleese places Brak's Dad off and puts a cat on the catapult and unleashes it.

Thundercleese: It works!

Cut to Brak's Dad running off.

Brak's Dad: You can't capture me!

Brak's Dad falls off a cliff with a sign reading: "To Be Completed in 2004".

Thundercleese: Oh, great.

Cut to a badly injured Brak's Dad back on the catapult. His also covered in mud, bruises, black eye, all sorts of injuries.

Brak's Dad: Oh man.

Thundercleese: Time, for George's final curtains.

Brak: I can't watch!

Brak's Mom: Yes, you can.

Cut to a trashed lounge room. Sisto and Zorak are drinking beer while watching TV.

Zorak: Just kill him, already!

Sisto: Yeah, kill my damn bastard of a dad.

Cut back to City Hall.

Brak: STOP!

Thundercleese: What?

Brak: I did it, I did it all!

Thundercleese: What did you do?

Brak: I did it all the evil things, I just blamed it on my Dad! I'M SORRY WORLD!

Brak's Dad: Son, we blamed you, then we un-blamed you, now we can blame you again!

Brak: Complicated ain't it?

Thundercleese: Mmm...let's kill Brak then!

Everyone: Yeah.

Brak: Ugh, man.

End credits. Church bells are ringing, and it sounds like the theme music.


	5. Thanks For Not Giving

The Brak Show

Thanks For Not Giving

Opening credits.

Cut to the kitchen.

Brak's Dad: The annual Spaceland Thanksgiving Parade will be held again, this year, all parade floats welcome.

Brak's Mom: Oh, I don't know. Remember what happened last year?

Brak's Dad: So my float caught on fire, big whoop.

Brak's Mom: No dear, they banned you.

Brak's Dad: I remember...

Cut to Brak's Dad with a very bushy moustache.

Brak's Dad: Yes, drinking wine on Christmas day with my incredibly hot wife.

Brak's Mom walks in with her hair down.

Brak's Mom: How's my incredibly hot Spanish husband, going?

Brak zooms in.

Brak: Hello, my incredibly hot parents.

Brak's Mom: Hello my incredibly hot son.

Brak: Where's the turkey?

Cut to an Asian guy.

Asian Guy: GIANTICON!

Gianticon attacks things in the background.

Brak's Mom: We must flee!

Brak's Dad: No.

Brak's Dad shoots Gianticon.

Brak's Dad: Now, time for some love.

Some Guy: YOU'RE FIRED, FROM WORKING AT THE SPACELAND THANKSGIVING PARADE!

Brak's Dad: Damnit.

Cut back to the present.

Brak's Dad: And I drowned my sorrows down in turkey stuffings coated with gravy.

Brak's Mom: That never happened.

Brak's Dad: C'mon now baby...

Brak zooms in.

Brak: Hey, ever'buddy.

Brak's Dad: Hello Brak.

Brak's Mom: Hello son.

Brak: We're doing a Thanksgiving play.

Brak's Dad: Do you play an Indian?

Brak: Nope, a turkey.

Brak's Dad: A turkey, oh crap!

Brak: What's so bad, about being a turkey?

Brak's Dad: Turkeys are always are made fun of, Brak. You must be a...

Cut to Zorak walking in with a cowboy outfit on.

Zorak: Hey, I'm a cowboy in that stupid play.

Brak's Dad: There's a man.

Brak's Mom: Hello Zorak.

Zorak: Make me a snack.

Brak's Mom: We're preparing linner.

Zorak: What the Hell is linner?

Brak's Mom: Not quite dinner, not quite lunch, but linner.

Zorak: I'm out.

Brak: What are you doing, here?

Zorak: Burning turkeys.

Brak: Who's the unlucky turkey?

Zorak: You.

Zorak drags Brak off.

Brak's Dad: I told him.

Brak: HELP!

Sisto walks in an Indian outfit.

Sisto: Hey.

Brak's Dad: Hello Sisto.

Brak's Mom: So you're an Indian in the Thanksgiving Play?

Sisto: Who said anything about play?

Brak's Dad: That's what she said.

Sisto: Well I am, and I'm going to kill cowboys with knives.

Sisto grabs out a knife.

Sisto: Time to kill Zorak. Mmmmm, I might just kill Brak the stupid turkey.

Sisto walks off.

Brak's Dad: Pop him in the eye, for daddy.

Brak's Mom: Don't encourage him!

Brak's Dad: Yes, ma'am.

Brak's Mom: And who's going to clean the kitchen?

Brak's Dad: You, ma'am.

Brak's Mom: No, you.

Brak's Mom walks off.

Brak's Dad: Oh man, what's happening? Oh, now I remember... (Singing) if you were a vacuum cleaner, and I were a vacuum cleaner too, we'll SOOOO get it on (winks).

Cut to Brak's room. Sisto and Zorak are beating Brak up.

Zorak: Stab them through the chest.

Sisto: I did that.

Zorak: Stab him in the heart, then.

Sisto: Nah, I'll need a golden knife.

Zorak: What can you do?

Sisto: Make his little tail dance.

Zorak: What tail?

Sisto: You know what, it doesn't matter.

Zorak: It goes matter!

Sisto: Go on Why?

Sisto: It has that game "Night Club", I think I got if from there.

Brak: Stop hurting Brak!

Zorak: Never!

Sisto: We can go on forever...

Brak's Mom enters.

Brak's Mom: Boys, it's time for the Thanksgiving Play.

Zorak: But we only got our roles today.

Brak: Yeah.

Brak grabs a long sub-sandwich and starts eating it.

Brak's Mom: Yes, but you had 13 weeks to learn all the lines, to stick it in your head, to remember your character.

Zorak: Really 13 weeks? The weeks just flew by.

Cut to a montage of Zorak and Sisto beating Brak up in the playground, in the swimming pool, the theatre, the movies, his room, the toilet, Zorak sticking Brak's head in the gutter, and Sisto kicking him in, Zorak and Sisto pushing Brak off a cliff. The montage stops.

Zorak: Good memories.

Sisto: Oh yeah, it's great.

Cut to the car. Brak's Dad is sitting up front with Brak's Mom (who's driving). Zorak, Brak and Sisto are sitting in the back from that order.

Brak's Dad: Say Joanna, I made a blueprint of a float for this year's Thanksgiving floats.

Brak's Mom: What is it?

Brak's Dad: This car, with a big humongous statue of me with the words under it as follows: "George Bashington rules" .

Brak's Mom: Give it up...Lawrence.

Brak's Dad: Yes, dear.

Brak's Mom stops at Thundercleese's house.

Thundercleese: Hello Mr. and Mrs. Bashington, happy turkey-eating to you.

Brak's Dad: It's Thanksgiving.

Thundercleese: I'm trying to learn the human way, please don't kill me!

Brak's Mom: So, you want to hop in.

Thundercleese: Why?

Brak's Mom: For the Learnmore High School Thanksgiving Play.

Thundercleese: We're going to view teenaged kids playing in high school?

Brak's Dad: No, it's like a little theatre.

Thundercleese: What the Hell is theatre?

Brak's Mom: Like, Death of a Salesman.

Thundercleese: Death of a Salesman? I loved that live movie!

Thundercleese locks himself around the car.

Thundercleese: Drive.

Cut to the exterior of Learnmore High School, the marquee says: "Thanksgiving Play, 6-9pm, free sample turkeys made by money-wanting hobos, Cowboys vs. Indians, Indians vs. Cowboys, Indians and Cowboys vs. Turkeys, what a night!" Cut inside. Principal Davies is on stage.

Principal Davies: Please, settle down everyone. Now, we hired a high-on-space air Earth performer Angus Scrimm to narrate the school play.

Angus walks on stage.

Angus: How much will you pay me?

Principal Davies: Nothing.

Angus: I'm leaving.

Angus walks off.

Principal Davies: Anyway, let's go on with the un-narrated version.

Thundercleese: So, will this live movie be good?

Brak's Mom: I reckon so, Thundercleese.

Thundercleese: Because, I remember the last time I went to a live movie, and it wasn't Death of a Salesman...

Cut to Thundercleese dancing in front of a deep-voiced giant worm.

Giant Worm: Don't stop pretty baby, hahahahhahahahahhaha!

Cut back to the Thundercleese.

Thundercleese: Anyway, let's watch.

Sisto walks out in an Indian outfit.

Sisto: My people are going to die because of the dreaded epidermic; no it's not smallpox, its cowboys.

Zorak in a cowboy outfit enters riding on a bomb.

Zorak:(with Texan accent): HEEEEEE HAW! We cowboys reckon you Indians are stealing our land.

Sisto: But it's our land.

Zorak:(with Texan accent): Want to fight about it!

Sisto: Sure. Indians...ATTACK!

Indians hop in and beat up Zorak.

Sisto: Try yanking our front tails now!

Zorak:(with Texan accent): So, I got a WHOLE army of cowboys.

The cowboys hop in and beat up the Indians. Cut later, dramatic music starts as police sirens are heard, the whole Indian ground is on fire, everyone lying on the ground. Zorak walks over, and limps over to Sisto.

Zorak:(with Texan accent): You guys win, we're had enough.

Sisto: I was going to say YOU guys win.

Zorak:(with Texan accent): HEEEEEEEE HAW! We win! We can form America and call this place Texas and have it full with deadbeat rednecks who shoot, drink and fight ALLLL the time! HEEEEEEEEEE HAW!

Sisto: I was sick of the war, guys.

Brak, Clarence and others walk in, dressed up as turkeys.

Sisto: Let's start another war with those guys!

Janet:(riding on a horse with a lasso, and cowgirl outfit): Sounds good to me.

Zorak:(with Texan accent): HEEEEEEEE HAW!

Everyone runs and beats up Brak and the rest.

Brak: I don't like this! Gobble, gobble, gobble!

Clarence: Hi Brak! Gobble, gobble, nice seeing YOU here, gobble.

Brak's Mom: Brak is so adorable when his being beaten up.

Cut to backstage. The director with ten legs hops over to the students.

Director: Guys, well done. And no one complained about my script filled with historical inaccuracies and frequent violence. Zorak, love the accent, Sisto, you lead your people good, boyfriend!

Sisto: Boyfriend?

Director: Brak did FANTASTIC as lead turkey.

Brak: Thank you, Director.

Director: Go home, little idiots and Happy Thanksgiving...Zorak, Sisto what are you doing?

Cut to Zorak and Sisto beating each other up.

Sisto: What?

Zorak punches Sisto.

Zorak: You like that, don't you bitch?

Sisto kicks Zorak to the ground.

Sisto: No I don't.

Director: Boys, stop that right now.

Zorak hits the director with a folding chair.

Director: You little bastards asked for it!

Zorak: Oh crap.

Director kicks Zorak in the crotch.

Zorak: OW! No hitting below the belt, bitch!

Brak: Go the director!

Zorak tackles Brak while Sisto and Director duke it out.

Brak: What was that for?

Zorak: Shut up, bitch.

Brak: Listen Zorak, it's Thanksgiving and...

Zorak: SCREW YOU!

Zorak kicks Brak in the head, which forces him backward to the lights, the lights fall on the director's hair as it sets it on fire as Sisto kicks him in the chest.

Director: Help!

Principal Davies: What's going on here?

Principal Davies tackles Clarence.

Clarence: HELP!

Everyone starts beating each other up. Cut to them in the car.

Brak's Mom: That was a very mean thing you did.

Zorak: It wasn't.

Brak's Dad: Gave Brak a little black eye.

Brak: And I think someone kicked in the groin.

Zorak: I kicked you in the stomach.

Brak: It still hurts.

Thundercleese: The blood spill was great! Great!

Cut to some teeth in Thundercleese's hand.

Thundercleese: And I scored some teeth from some unlucky bastard.

Cut to Clarence waiting in the dentist line, with one tooth remaining. Cut back to the car.

Brak's Mom: You are going home and getting dressed ready for bed.

Brak's Dad: Hey Joanna, wanna play Snuggle-Bunnies in bed?

Brak's Mom: No.

Brak's Dad: Oh.

Cut back at Thundercleese's house.

Thundercleese: Great play, I loved the blood spilling, and the rooms kept chilling, it was great I tell you! Great!

Brak's Mom: I glad you enjoyed it Thundercleese.

Brak's Dad: Whatever.

The car drives off.

Thundercleese: WAIT! MY HOUSE KEYS ARE INSIDE THE CAR!

Cut back home. Brak and Sisto walk in.

Brak: That was a great night enjoyed by all!

Brak's Mom and Dad enter.

Brak's Dad: Joanna, that was the best performance I've ever seen, 3 hours non-stop of violence, only at the start and near the end no violence, and what an ending! Those turkeys got the living mucus kicked out of them!

Brak coughs.

Brak's Dad: Hello son, you were good too.

Brak's Mom: You buys better go in the bathroom and be ready for bed.

Brak: Yes Mom.

Sisto: Yes Mom.

Cut to the bathroom. Brak enters when Sisto is putting his Indian hat off.

Brak: Hi Sisto!

Sisto: Wha?

Brak: Can I get changed in here too?

Sisto: Yeah, sure.

Brak: Say Sisto!

Sisto: Yes...what...is it...Brak?

Brak: I was just wondering, why is Thanksgiving called Thanksgiving?

Sisto: Why do you want to know that?

Brak: I don't know, did the Indians make it, or the Cowboys.

Sisto: The cowboys.

Brak: The Dallas Cowboys?

Sisto: NOOOO!

Brak: So, what does it mean?

Sisto: Thanksgiving is called Thanksgiving because...we get presents; we thank the person who gave the person the present, yada-yada-yada.

Brak: Really?

Sisto: Yes.

Brak: You're not kidding?

Sisto: No.

Brak: Oh. Cool.

Sisto: Yeah, that's why Thanksgiving is called Thanksgiving.

Brak: Cool, I'm going to buy presents right away!

Brak walks out.

Sisto: Dork.

Sisto sprays honey on his armpit.

Sisto: Honey gives my armpit that honey flavour.

Cut to commercial.

Cut to the kitchen. Brak enters, walking towards the window.

Brak: Hi Mom, Hi Dad, bye Mom, bye Dad.

Brak's Mom: Where are you going?

Brak: The mall.

Brak walks out; he walks by the window outside, and starts humming: "Baba Dee Dee".

Thundercleese: What are you doing, neighbourhood Brak?

Brak: Buying everyone presents.

Thundercleese: Aren't you generous?

Brak: Yep.

Thundercleese: But why?

Brak: For Thanksgiving.

Thundercleese: Oh...is that what Thanksgiving is?

Brak: Yep.

Thundercleese: Can I come with you?

Brak: Sure.

Cut to the mall. Brak is going up the escalators with Thundercleese.

Brak: Bababoom, bababoom.

Voice: All electronic things turned off, please!

Thundercleese: Does that include me?

Brak: No.

Thundercleese: Good.

Brak:(singing): I'm in the mall, that's right, the mall! That's right, not in our school halls, it's the mall! Go buy things, and do things, and bleep around and do stupid bleepty things. That's right, it's the mall! No crap, just the mall! Not the mole like getting mauled by bears, but the mall! The mall! No mole, no mauling, just good ole mall! Go buys things...FOR THANKSGIVING, YEAH!

Thundercleese: TTTTTTHHE MALLLLLL!

Brak and Thundercleese walk up top and meet up with Zorak and Sisto.

Brak: Hey, buddies.

Thundercleese: Hello

Zorak: Oh, what the Hell are you guys doing here?

Brak: Buying presents.

Thundercleese: YEAH!

Zorak: Why?

Brak: For Thanksgiving, buddy.

Thundercleese: Even for a dumb mantis, your dumb.

Zorak: You're buying the turkey this year, huh?

Brak: I suppose I can buy them a turkey...or dragon ski boats!

Brak grabs out dragon ski boats.

Thundercleese: I might need some turkey...with blood for gravy.

Brak: With new and improved tracking chip, glowing eyes with lasers and stuff like that for Dad, I bought it at the Thanksgiving Charity Auction.

Thundercleese: YEAH!

Sisto:(nervous): Uh, yeah...you do that.

Thundercleese: We will do that.

Zorak: What's Thunderbolt doing in here?

Thundercleese: Wouldn't you like to know.

Brak: It's not Thunderbolt.

Pause.

Zorak: Yeah, I would like to know.

Thundercleese blasts Zorak.

Thundercleese: Feel the delightful pain.

Zorak: Oh, man.

Brak: No one's listening to me!

Zorak: Your right.

Zorak falls to the ground.

Thundercleese: Blood must be spilled, blood is my gravy.

Pause.

Thundercleese: GRAVY!

Brak: Yeah, I heard ya.

Janet and other girls walk in.

Brak: Look at the sluts.

Thundercleese: Bitches.

Janet: Hey Brak, nice ski boots.

Girl #1: Yeah.

Girl #2: Cool.

Girl #3: Awesome boots.

Brak: Thank you! It's for my Dad!

The girls start laughing.

Janet: I suppose, at least he ain't buying anything for his Mom.

Brak: I am, soon!

The girls start laughing, again.

Brak: They're just...you know, wasting air.

Thundercleese: Damn right they are Brak!

Thundercleese blasts Janet.

Thundercleese: Die, you cold-hearted bitch!

Girl #1: You like, killed Janet.

Thundercleese: She was a bitch.

Girl #2: We know Tin-Man.

Thundercleese: It's Thunderbolt!

Voice: THUNDERBOLT!

Pause.

Brak: Wait, wait...your name is Thunderbolt now?

Thundercleese: Whoops, I mean Thundercleese.

Voice: THUNDERCLEESE!

The girls run off.

Brak: 10-4 good buddy.

Cut to the store "Mom's World". Brak is waiting in line.

Brak: I can't wait until Mom sees my new kickass presents!

Brak grabs out a two bagsful of things with Thundercleese.

Brak: Cannot wait for my parents to dig into these cool presents.

Cut to the exterior of Brak's house.

Transition Announcer: A couple of weeks later, on Thanksgiving.

Cut to Brak's Mom and Dad sleeping in there double-size bed, Brak runs in his pyjamas and bounces up and down on there bed when Brak's Mom and Dad wake up.

Brak: IT'S TODAY! IT'S TODAY!

Brak's Dad: What's today, Brak? I know...THE DAY I GO BACK TO SLEEP!

Brak's Mom: Now dear, Brak...it's 5:30 in the morning.

Brak: But it's Thanksgiving, we have visitors.

Brak's Dad: Oh, great...who is it now?

Brak: No-one, except Sir Widesbottom.

Brak puts on a hat and moustache.

Brak:(with posh accent): Good Thanksgiving to you Mr. and Mrs. Bashington...

Brak's Dad: I have no time for this.

Brak:(with posh accent): I have brought presents for you and all.

Brak's Dad: Can you tell Sir Widesbottom to shove it up where the Sun doesn't shine?

Brak takes the moustache and hat.

Brak: That Sir Widesbottom, what a killer.

Brak walks off.

Brak: See you guys.

Cut to Sisto smoking cigarettes in his room with Zorak when Brak walks in and turns the light on.

Zorak: TURN IT OFF!

Brak turns the light off.

Brak: Happy Thanksgiving to you Sisto.

Zorak: That's so gay, Brak.

Sisto: Listen Brak, you didn't actually believe what I said about Thanksgiving did you?

Brak:(fast-talking): Well...I thought that you said something about Thanksgiving being ruled by ancient demons from the sea, I had a dream that was like that movie with the girl that was vomiting and her head was turning but then I decided I should wake up and iron my underwear.

Sisto: Uh...yeah, see you in the morning.

Brak: It is the morning.

Sisto: Then latter morning.

Cut to the kitchen.

Transition Announcer: Latter morning, around 11:45am.

Brak's Mom and Dad are eating breakfast when Brak, Zorak and Sisto walk in.

Brak: Happy Thanksgiving Mom and Dad and my younger brother Sisto and my best friend in the whole world Zorak.

Zorak sighs.

Zorak: Lame.

Brak brings out a sack-full of presents.

Brak: Presents for Mom.

Brak's Mom puts out all her presents.

Brak's Mom: Vacuum-cleaner, new clothes...

Mom holds up a Cat-Woman outfit.

Brak's Mom: This one is a little revealing.

Brak's Dad: I find it sexy.

Brak: Good in bed (winks).

Brak's Dad: Any presents for me?

Brak pours all Brak's Dad's presents no his lap.

Brak: Stacks.

Brak hands Sisto and Zorak presents.

Brak: HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Brak's Mom: All these presents where every thoughtful Brak...but why?

Brak: It's Thanksgiving?

Sisto: I may have told Brak a little white lie about Thanksgiving.

Brak: WHAT? Why?

Sisto: So I can get you off my back.

Brak's Dad: I'm sorry Brak, we can't repay you.

Brak breathes excessively.

Brak: THIS IS THE LAST STRAW! I'M SICK OF PEOPLE LYING TO ME, I PUT PEOPLE INTO CONSIDERATION, IT'S LIKE THAT TIME CHUCKIE SAID TO KILL ALL THE BARBIE DOLLS! I'M ABOSOLETLY PISSED AND I'M RUNNING AWAY FROM EVERY LIAR HERE!

Brak runs off, and we see him running off through the window.

Brak's Dad: Joanna, put on that Cat-Woman outfit and we'll play Snuggle-Bunnies.

Brak's Mom: No.

Brak's Dad: Oh.

Cut to commercial.

Transition Announcer: Act Three: Death Has a Claw.

Cut inside Thundercleese's house, where Thundercleese and Brak stand.

Brak: And he stood there and lied to my face.

Thundercleese: LIAR! What a liar!

Brak: What should I do, brother Thundercleese?

Thundercleese: We must go to a homeless shelter!

Brak: But why?

Thundercleese: Cause at least there, the homeless bums won't lie to us, they can't afford it!

Brak and Thundercleese laugh hysterically. Cut to Brak's house, Brak's Dad and Brak's Mom and Sisto start eating turkey.

Brak's Mom: Oh Lawrence, it's so hard to eat, our son ran away and we just stood there and accepted it.

Pause.

Brak's Dad: So we did.

Brak's Mom: Sisto, maybe you should go to Thundercleese's house and apologize to lying to Brak.

Brak's Dad: I say the boy stays here...

Sisto walks outside, people seeing him walk by the window.

Brak's Dad: Oh, his gone...now can you put on the Cat-Woman outfit and so we can play Snuggle-Bunnies?

Brak's Mom: No.

Brak's Dad: C'mon Mother, you only live once.

Pause.

Brak's Mom: I'm not your Mother.

Sisto walks back in.

Sisto: His gone.

Brak's Mom: My poor Brakley!

Transition Announcer: At the Homeless Shelter!

Cut to Thundercleese and Brak eating turkey at the homeless shelter.

Bum #1: So, what are you guys from?

Thundercleese: Spaceland St.

Bum #2: City slickers, eh?

Brak: We ran away because they kept lying at us, with there lying eyes of lies, oh boy those liars, they wish they never lied to this lie-taker!

Bum #1: That's good, can I have your wine?

Brak: Oh, sure...wait a minute, you wouldn't want to drink my wine, it's cold and I just drank it.

Bum #3: He did, you know.

Bum #4: I saw him.

Cut outside of there house. Brak's Mom & Dad, Zorak and Sisto are talking.

Brak's Mom: Zorak, you take Durkuradie Town, Sisto you take the Lost & Found in North Severhands, I'll take around Spaceland St. and Lawrence...

Brak's Dad: Yes?

Brak's Mom: You will take the homeless shelter in West Severhands.

Brak's Dad: Okay, whatever.

Brak's Mom: Ready?

Pause.

Brak's Mom: BREAK!

They all walk off while Brak's Mom runs off.

Brak's Dad: I don't understand this.

Zorak: Does it look like I do?

Sisto: Let's just go.

Cut to a drunk Brak and drunk Thundercleese lying on the floor.

Brak:(drunk): Oh man, that wine...was too good to resist.

Thundercleese:(drunk): Listen, I think I know the reason God hates me...because I'm a robot.

Brak:(drunk): You're spectacular, don't you dare think of that, if I was romo-sexual, I would have sex with you in a second.

Thundercleese:(drunk): Your just saying that, aren't you?

Brak:(drunk): Well, yeah.

Cut to Galrog's house. Brak's Mom rings the doorbell.

Galrog: Come in.

Brak's Mom enters.

Galrog: Hello Mrs. Bashington.

Brak's Mom: Hello Garlog, have you seen Brak anywhere?

Galrog: No, I'm afraid I haven't.

Brak's Mom: Have you seen him at all?

Galrog: No!

Brak's Mom: Okay, bye!

Cut to Durkuardie Town. Zorak walks in.

Zorak: Who's seen a Brak Bashington anywhere? A Brak Bashington!

Zorak springs off.

Zorak: I tried.

Cut to North Severhands, an old lady is throwing cats at him.

Sisto: Lady, what's your problem?

Brak's Dad walks into the homeless shelter.

Brak's Dad: Brak, we've been worried sick about you!

Brak: Oh, I haven't.

Brak's Dad: Listen Brak, what Sisto did was wrong, ladadaedie, tonight we'll make all up to you.

Brak: You will?

Thundercleese: What about Thundercleese?

Everyone walks in.

Zorak: Brak, we've been looking all over for you, you dipstick!

Brak: You have?

Sisto: I'm sorry that I mislead you Brak and Mr. Thundercleese...(to self) not.

Brak's Dad: We've going to a have a party!

Thundercleese: Can I come?

Brak's Dad: Sure, it ain't a party without a bloodthirsty robot!

Cut to Brak's Dad typed up in dog-type sex clothing, while Brak's Mom is holding tight of him with a leash, dressed up as Cat-Woman, Brak, Zorak, Sisto are swaying while a black person is on the piano.

Pianist: I've found my thrill, onnnn Blueberry Hill!

Thundercleese runs in with tickets.

Thundercleese: I got tickets to see a live movie!

Cut to a giant, deep-voiced worm, holding everyone captive. Brak's Mom is doing exotic dances around a pole in the Cat-Woman costume, Brak is being rolled around on a dart board, Sisto is on a cooking spike, Zorak is in a ice-block and Brak's Dad in being spanked with a belt.

Giant Worm: Don't stop pretty baby, hahahahhahahaha!

End credits as the funky music continues.

Giant Worm:(V.O): Do it all night, baby.

The funky music continues, and then shows the Cartoon Network logo.

Giant Worm:(V.O): Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.


	6. Brak Pockets

The Brak Show

Brak Pockets

Note: Since I've already made up names for Brak's Mom and Dad, in this fanfic I'll just call them up the names I made up for them.

Opening credits.

Cut to Lawrence, Joanna, Brak, Sisto and Zorak at the dinner table having dinner.

Lawrence: Having leftover dinner, how did we come the rundown of society?

Joanna: I think it was the horny bums decided to sell 50 percent of stock from their investment in rat feces.

Zorak: Well, I always eat garbage, it don't matter for me.

Zorak continues to eat out of a trash can when a green monster pops out.

Green Monster: I know where you live!

Zorak: Stop being so grouchy, Mouchy!

Mouchy: Whatever.

Brak: No Mom, I could've sworn it was when we wasted all our money investing in 50 shares of Listen, who cares how we got so damn poor, and let's figure out a way to start eating fresh food again, I got food poisoning last night.

Brak: No you didn't, that was me.

Sisto: No, it was me.

Brak: No, it was me, I'll show ya!

Sisto: How?

Pause.

Brak: Oh, I don't know.

Pause.

Brak: This would've never happened if Fish Pockets existed, thanks a lot Marlin and the other guy!

Sisto: What's Fish Pockets?

Brak: A seafood restaurant, the best one in town!

Lawrence: How come I never heard of it?

Brak: Because Dad, me and Zorak went back in time...

Zorak: Best we don't explain that.

Brak: Why not?

Zorak: I don't know, just don't.

Mouchy: Yeah!

Zorak: Oh shut up Mouchy, I'm so sick of you!

Zorak eats Mouchy.

Zorak: That wasn't so bad, now was it?

Mouchy:(V.O): No.

Brak: You know what'll be a great idea!

Zorak: Eating you, because Mouchy actually tasted pretty good.

Brak: That's a good idea, but I have an even BETTER idea.

Zorak: Killing you...even eating you?

Brak: Make a brand new Fish Pockets!

Lawrence: Brak, building a seafood restaurant that never existed is kinda hard, because you need man power, steel and concrete.

Brak: What can I do?

Lawrence: Find something to put a lease on.

Brak: What's a lease?

Lawrence: I don't know, do I look like a human dictionary to you?

Brak: ...uh, yes?

Brak starts hallucinating that Lawrence is a dictionary.

Lawrence:(in hallucination): Want a hot chocolate, Sunday?

Brak drools.

Brak: YES!

Brak stops hallucinating.

Lawrence: I asked if your Mom if she wanted to suck on my (HONK)!

Brak: I thought you said something 'bout chocolate?

Lawrence: Well, like chocolate, I'll melt in your glorious Mother's mouth.

Zorak: Coho...sexual innuendo.

Zorak hi-fives Lawrence.

Lawrence: So while me and you mother have hot kinky sex, you should go to the neighbourhood president in seeing about building a Fish Pockets, whatever that is...c'mon Snuggle-Bunny, put your on hot, bunny costume...

Joanna and Lawrence walk off.

Brak: See the neighbourhood president! Oh no!

Sisto: Don't worry, me and Zorak will come, right Zorak?

Sisto nudges Zorak.

Zorak: Oh yeah, sure...whatever.

Cut to Galrog's house. Zorak rings the doorbell.

Galrog: Come in.

Zorak, Sisto and Brak enter.

Galrog: What do you want, me to legalize the public prostitution laws?

Brak: No kind gentleman, I have come forth you so I can build a seafood restaurant called Fish Pockets.

Zorak: I like the idea of the public prostitution thing.

Brak: That's not what we came for.

Zorak: It's still a good idea.

Brak: We want a Fish Pock...

Zorak: Never needing to have call on a sex line ever again.

Brak: We want a Fish Pockets.

Zorak: AND THAT PROSTITUTION THING!

Galrog: You can't have both!

Brak: Let's have rock, paper, scissors.

Brak and Zorak: Rock, paper, scissors.

Brak has rock and Zorak has scissors.

Zorak: Scissors beats rock!

Sisto: No it doesn't.

Brak: Rock beats scissors.

Sisto: Yeah.

Zorak: Okay, you win...scissors still beats rock.

Brak: We want a new Fish Pockets

Pause.

Galrog: Mhm, Fish Pockets...I think I've heard of that somewhere, I'll bring it forth to the council.

Brak: YES!

Cut to the Neighbourhood Council, Galrog hops up to the podium.

Galrog: Council, I bring forth an idea from Brakley Jimmy Bashington, to build a new seafood restaurant...

Pause.

Galrog: Called Fish Pockets.

Council Member #1: I think I heard that name somewhere, before.

Council Member #2: Me too.

Galrog: Brak will come to the council after school to explain it.

Cut at night time as Brak is sleeping in his room

Lawrence:(V.O): WHO'S YOUR DADDY?

Brak: Will they shut up?

Joanna:(V.O): WHO'S YOUR MOMMY?

Brak: Oh man, WILL YOU GUYS STOP HAVING SEX????

Pause.

Brak: Th...

Lawrence:(V.O): OH YES! OH YES! OH YES!

Brak: Goddamnit.

Brak walks off to Sisto's room.

Sisto: NO!

Brak flies out of his room.

Brak: Whoa.

Cut to Zorak's house, Zorak is spying on Lawrence and Joanna.

Zorak: Someday baby...

Brak walks in.

Brak: Hey Zorak, I can't sleep and tomorrow's the day I bring forth my Fish Pockets idea to the council.

Zorak: Hey whatever, sleep on the grass.

Brak: What grass?

Zorak pushes Brak off to the grass.

Brak: Oh man, this is weak.

Cut to the Council, Brak walks up to the podium.

Brak: Hi my name is Brak, I now bring forth a great idea...it's a seafood restaurant called "Fish Pockets" where they are "pockets of fish", delicious fish served right to your mouth, so tasty, your taste buds will thank you...

Cut to Brak's tongue.

Taste Bud #1: Oh man, his talking about us again.

Taste Bud #2: Could be worse.

Taste Bud #1: What the (HONK) do you mean it could be worse?

Taste Bud #2: I mean, he could be launching missiles to us.

Taste Bud #1: Doesn't make one nick of sense.

Taste Bud #3: What about me?

Taste Bud #1: DON'T WORRY NICK! Nick's a jerk.

Taste Bud #2: I mean, he poured toxic waste in my hot fudge Sunday.

Taste Bud #1: What a (HONK)ing (HONK)head!

Taste Bud #2: Oh man, better go, my stupid bitchy wife is (HONK)ing calling me.

Nick: YOU CALLED ME A JERK DIDN'T YOU?

Taste Bud #2: Whatever Nick!

Taste Bud #1: See you tomorrow.

Taste Bud #2: Yeah, see you tomorrow.

Cut to back outside Brak's tongue.

Brak: ...so please gentlemen, if you have taste buds like mine, please vote for the idea for a "Fish Pockets" in Spaceland St.

Pause. Cut to everyone building the Fish Pockets.

Brak: Lookin' good boys.

Thundercleese flies in.

Thundercleese: There's something you should know!

Brak: What, buddy?

Thundercleese: YOU DEMOLISHED MY HOUSE!

Brak: We did? Oh well, you can always deactivate yourself.

Thundercleese: Can I have my briefcase?

Brak: Sure...

Pause.

Thundercleese: Thank you.

Thundercleese flies off. Cut to a newspaper spinning reading "Fish Pockets Opens". Cut to the News Alien.

News Alien: Today, Brak opened up Fish Pockets on a very, very, very slow news day.

Cut to a close-up at Lawrence.

Lawrence: Isn't it great dear?

Cut to a wide view shot of Lawrence, Joanna, Brak, Sisto and Zorak at the Fish Pockets watching the TV as Thundercleese floats in, smashing it.

Brak: You smashed the TV!

Thundercleese: (drunk) I've got a bone to pick with you...Brak.

Joanna: Thundercleese, are you drunk?

Thundercleese: (drunk) Yes, I drunk...MOTHER! Brak...Brak's Mother, Brak's Mom.

Joanna: Um, Thundercleese it's Joanna.

Thundercleese: (drunk) SHUT UP! Everything's changed, back when we were ourselves, then penguins then ourselves again but acting completely out of character. We're starting to get in character again but we need to get in character faster, that's why I'm going to visit Marlin.

Sisto: I think someone's a little cranky that a certain someone demolished their house to make a restaurant.

Thundercleese: (drunk) AND YOU! I don't know where you come from, you appeared occasionally to fart, you then disappeared when we all thought you got eaten and now your back and talking and not farting! What the Hell!

Sisto: Don't you know my story, I was about to be eaten, they didn't feel like eating me, they dropped me off at a friend's place and I stayed there for the next couple or so years.

Brak: Why are you drunk Mr. Thundercleese, we said you can stay in our house.

Thundercleese: I know, I peed on all your rugs...and then I eat the rugs with the pee on it and then I decided to get drunk. True story.

Brak: Well.

Thundercleese: I'm going to get things back to normal, away!

(Thundercleese flies off.)

Brak: Well someone's a party pooper. Ha, ha! I said party.

Cut later on as Lawrence and Joanna at a table.

Lawrence: How do you think Thundercleese is going to "turn things back to normal".

Joanna: I don't know. I'm just waiting for my food.

Lawrence: Yes, where is that food?

Brak zooms in.

Brak: I'm sorry everyone, we um...don't have a chef.

Lawrence: What!

Brak: Um...yeah, sorry bout that.

Joanna: I'm not cooking if you think that's what I'm going to do.

Brak: I know, but...Zorak's in the middle of getting a chef now.

Cut to Zorak beating Clarence up in the middle of the street. Cut back to the restaurant.

Brak: So, everybody relax!

Cut to Thundercleese in outer space, flying in the air and then flying down back to Earth and flying in Marlin's castle.

Marlin: What, in blazes are you doing?

Thundercleese: You the wizard guy?

Marlin: Who wants to know, fat cats.

Thundercleese: I have recently moved into my neighbour's house after they demolished my house to make a restaurant and now, I'm realizing that they have been acting strangely since you turned them back to normal from being turned into penguins.

Marlin: Yes, I did didn't I?

Thundercleese: You must now, speed up the process of turning them back to normal.

Marlin: I can't just, "speed up" the process. Speeding up the process takes time.

Thundercleese: WHAT?

Marlin: Yeah, I know it's bad.

Thundercleese: Is there another way of getting them back to themselves again?

Marlin: Yes...to kill me! And I don't think that'll happen anytime soon.

Silence. Thundercleese blasts Marlin. Cut to Thundercleese standing on top of Marlin's dead corpse.

Thundercleese: Now, it's time to go home to see the status quo...in...in concert. After I see everything back to normal. Away!

Thundercleese flies up in the air. Cut back to the restaurant.

Lawrence: Brak?

Brak: Yes, Dad?

Lawrence: Is there a Chef in there yet?

Brak: Why yes there is, thing is, um...his been in there for at least 12 hours by now.

Joanna: What?

Brak: Yeah, apparently his not a very good cook.

Cut to the kitchen as Clarence is eating all the food as Zorak pops up out of the nowhere and starts beating him up again. Cut back to the restaurant as Thundercleese flies back in squashing a table.

Thundercleese: Everything is now back to normal.

Sisto walks in.

Sisto: Huh?

Thundercleese: Don't question it, just watch.

An alien spaceship crashes down on the restaurant as aliens fly out taking Sisto (while constantly farting) and taking him away in their spaceship and flying off as everyone in the restaurant runs off, including Zorak and Clarence.

Joanna: Sisto! Wait...hold on, what's my name again?

Thundercleese: Brak's Mom.

Lawrence: And mine?

Thundercleese: Brak's Dad.

Brak's Dad (Lawrence): I suppose Brak's dad makes sense.

Cut back to Thundercleese's old house as he stands on the front lawn with Brak.

Thundercleese: I only turned things back to normal so I can have my house back.

Brak: It's amazing though how they rebuilt your house so quickly, especially with the alien attack that took sway Sisto.

Thundercleese: Where did he go anyway?

Cut to an alien spaceship landing on a planet filled with farting aliens as Sisto walks out and farts to the tune of the Brak show theme. End credits as it continues.

Time: 12:13


End file.
